This is kind of a personal moment for me but I feel like God wanted me to share this.
This happened a few days before my team and I left Panama. My team and I wanted to do something nice for our host family to show them how much we appreciated everything they did for us. So, we went into town to get some ingredients. We thought it would be sweet to make them Oreo balls. We were walking around town from store to store looking for the items we were wanting. We were passing a store that had flowers and we thought it would be a good idea to get flowers for them. We went in and were deciding which ones to pick. The lady who owned the store approached us after she saw that we were interested in buying. She couldn’t speak English, so we had some difficulties communicating. Then she noticed that I spoke English. She was surprised and thought it was hilarious that a Chinese girl knew English and didn’t know her own language. (For those of you who don’t know, I am adopted. I was born in China and was adopted when I was five months old. I was brought to the States and raised as an American, which is why I don’t know Chinese.) During this encounter, I wanted to disappear. I tried to smile and laugh it off but inside I literally wanted to cry. Everyone was joining in with laughing at me of the idea that she thought it was so funny that I couldn’t speak my own language.
Some of you guys probably think that it’s not a big deal. But for me, I hate being noticed for being different. I went through a stage in my life where I wish I was just normal. What is normal, you may ask? A 22-year-old Caucasian girl. I didn’t grow up with many Asians, so I definitely felt out of place and didn’t belong. When you’re a child, all you want is to fit in and be like everyone else. I went through a stage in my life when I didn’t even like being Asian. I asked God, “Why me?” I have come a long way from where I once was. I am working on loving myself for how God created me. Accepting myself for who I am is something that I’ve asked God to help me with. And I think this encounter did. In the moment, I didn’t realize it. But now since I’ve had time to stand back and reflect on what happened, it’s made me realize that God made me different for a reason.
Because I am different, we were able to have a conversation with the lady. We got to share a little bit about ourselves and learn about her story. We shared smiles, laughs, and hugs. We were able to share God’s love with her. We all have a purpose and were created for a reason. We all have a different purpose and were created for a different reason. I know that I was created different than those I am with for a reason. Life isn’t about finding yourself, it is about discovering who God created you to be.
Thank you so much and until next time(:
Yours in Christ,
Karrie
