Hello, my name is apathy. I like to present myself every now and then and make surprise appearances. You probably won’t see me coming, but before you know it we will be with each other almost everyday. Whenever I pay a visit you’ll probably resist, but I’ll warn you, im stubborn. You’ll be ashamed of me and try to keep me hidden away for a while, but I find that fun, a part of the game. I try harder and harder to be acknowledged. Without realizing it you will spend most of your time and energy getting to know me, while at the same time trying to figure out how to get rid of me. I never give any notice when I’m coming for a visit, in fact I don’t even knock at the door when I arrive. I just let myself in and make myself comfortable before you even know I’m over. Since I know I’m not welcome, I prefer to move in first and settle down so it’s harder to pack me up and throw me out without me leaving something behind for you to deal with. My favorite hobby is to pull you away from the things you love. I smile when you decide to walk away from those things all on your own, because it means that I’ve won, and boy do I love winning. Whenever you do that it means I’m making a difference in your life and you value me.
Remember what I said about attention? It fuels me. Once I have your attention I hold onto and it’s hard to ever get back. All I want from you is your time and attention, but I don’t just want part of it I want it all. I’m greedy. Once you start listening to my voice the real magic happens, I become your closest friend. In this friendship I’m the one who gets to make the decisions, I guess you could call it more of a master servant relationship, and that’s the way I like it.
Hello there apathy, it’s nice to finally meet you face to face after all of these years of hearing about you, but just missing you and left to clean up your mess. I’ve seen the effects your stay has on others and on myself. To say it plainly, I don’t like it and I don’t appreciate it. I don’t like the effect that you have on my heart or the blinders it puts on my mind. You make even the most enjoyable things difficult, and suck the life out of everything you touch. I love life, I love passions, and I love feeling. All of which I afraid you love to take away from others and turn to yourself. I’m writing this to officially uninvite you from my life. I no longer wish to have you stay with me or anyone I know. You’re rude, you are intrusive, and you are not welcome anymore. I know you too well to think that just this letter would keep you away. In fact, as you’re reading this you’re probably planning your next visit. So, in addition to this letter I’ve made the decision to change the locks on my doors. Instead of having my doubt be your key into my life, I’ve decide to change my locks to trust. Trust in the Lord and in who He is. Trust, I’m afraid, is something that you cannot touch. You cannot break the bonds of trust or even attempt to pick the lock. So farewell apathy, you are no longer welcome here, you no longer have a place to stay here. I’m making the final choice, I want nothing to do with you. I’m choosing to trust and find joy in every area in my life. I’m choosing to paint each room in my house with joy so that I am no longer looking at the dark emptiness that you leave behind after every visit. I learned a lot from you, but not in the way that I’m sure you intended. I wish that I could say it was nice knowing you, but… well I think this letter makes if fairly clear. Goodbye apathy, I’m making the choice to be done with you. In your place my new friend joy will be staying permanently.
-Julie
