I’m coming back

Excited. Nervous. Sad. Hopeful. And mournful. Just to name a bit. 

 

A lot of people at home have been asking the question, “are you ready?” And, I don’t know how to answer that. 

 

Does anybody know if they are ready for something that they haven’t experienced before? 

 

Probably not.

 

But, do I know that eventually I will have to face that reality? Yes, I do. 

 

I’m heading home to Pittsburgh, PA the place I lived for over 22 years. I love my city. I also spent four years living in Morgantown, WV another place I called home. But now, it’s different. 

 

I am not used to life in those places. I am used to living out of two bags, going to a new country each month, and the people I call J church, all 31 of them. Heck, I did like with them for the past 11 months. They are like family to me. 

 

But now, I am moving into another chapter. One where I won’t have my squad with me, where I don’t travel to a new country each month, and one where I stay in one place for longer than a month and it’s… well, weird.

 

I am excited to see friends and family! To drive my car, eat some of my favorite foods, where my clothes, and sleep in a comfortable bed. To have a space that is mine and shop at Target.

 

But I’m also grieving. I am sad this chapter in my life is coming to an end. That the traveling to a new country each month and living with 31 people is coming to a close. My heart aches, not for it to keep going, but that something so good has to end.

 

I am also nervous. I haven’t done this before. I haven’t had to move back to a country after living in 11 other countries. I haven’t had to drive in a car to go to church or fight for community for a long time.  I haven’t had to pay for a meal over $5 or pick an outfit out from a closet. It’s culture shock and I’m a bit fearful.

 

But I am also hopeful. Hopeful to see what the Lord will do for me and my squad. To see how he will provide for us and bless us because he continues to provide for us and be faithful to us like the Israelites. He just proves again and again to us that He. Is. Faithful. 

 

So, why do I doubt?

 

That’s a good question. I guess to answer it, is because I am scared of the unknown. And post race life raises a lot of questions that are unanswered and unknown. 

 

I’m actually blessed to know quite a few of my answers. I got a job in July working as a camp counselor within a community I’m familiar with. I am going back to South Africa for a short term trip in October. And I’m probably going to move to Gainesville, GA to do a discipleship program in January of 2020. 

 

Man, I have a pretty good vision the Lord has set for me. But there’s also things like community, job, income, and stuff that are also unanswered and make me nervous.

 

And this is when I ask for grace. Grace from all of you who are reading this, have been praying for me, will be a part of my transition home, or are currently on my squad. 

 

Have grace for me when I don’t know how to answer your questions about “how was the race?” Or when I’m over-excited about normal day to day things. When people spend more than $5 on a meal or buy a shirt for $50. I will be overwhelmed at times, and ask for grace and patience in that. 

 

But I also extend grace and patience to you as well. 

 

For when you are asking questions and trying to understand what my last year was like. When you are confused or shocked about stuff I experienced or things out of your comfort zone. Or when you don’t understand some things because it’s hard for you to understand. 

 

It’s a two way street, and I ask for grace and grace will be extended.

 

All in all, I’m going back to the U.S. and have a lot on my mind, and a lot I want to share with people and walk/talk though. 

 

SO!!! Please please please, email me, text me, or shoot me a message. I would love to sit and chat over a coffee, a meal, or even a walk in a park! I love meeting with people and just meeting with them at where they are at. 

 

And what better way than to do it together. WOW. I’m doing it, I’m coming back. And I’m excited to do it with YOU!

 

Love,

Julia