As I sit here writing this, I hear the clanging of pots and pans outside where the Haitian men and women prepare and cook meals for us. I hear the women and men laughing and speaking in Creole, a language foreign to my ears. I am still getting used to saying “bonjour” instead of “hola” or “hello”— the World Race has been a transformational journey for me thus far, and it’s only just begun.
Around a month ago, I was in the Dominican Republic with my entire squad— we were helping out the Dominguez family after they endured a difficult season in their life. About half way through the month, our squad leaders, James and LeAnn, and squad mentor, Grace, offered our squad the chance to experience spiritual inner-healing.
Inner-healing is hard for some people to grasp since it involves the presence and healing of the Holy Spirit, but I will do my best to describe my experience.
I was able to have an inner-healing session with LeAnn, James, Grace, and my teammate, Sarah. It was one of the most pivotal moments in my life, as I was able to experience deliverance from unclean spirits. During that night, I was able to cast out unclean spirits that had been oppressing me for a few years. These spirits clung to me and fed me lie upon lie about my identity and relationship with the Lord.
I heard things, like “you are not enough” and “you will never feel love.” These lies infiltrated into my mind that they played like a broken record, and after awhile I started to even believe them. Upon this deliverance, I experienced something I had long desired to taste for myself: f r e e d o m.
Freedom in Christ was a difficult concept for me comprehend. I had read stories in the Bible of Jesus casting out demons and performing miracles, but even though I read these stories so desperately wanting to believe them and the truth they held, I still found myself doubting Jesus and his power.
As a millennial, I often pondered: “am I to believe and have a relationship with the same Jesus who walked the earth hundreds of years ago when my entire life looks so comfortable?” Did I really have a need for Jesus in my life back in America? Because our society makes God look more like a hobby, than actually being who He says he is.
When I was stripped of my comforts of Starbucks, Target, and Netflix bingeing, I realized I had a lot more time and space in my life to fill. I was no longer living a lifestyle of comfort, but I was actually living a life that reflected the early Church in Acts.
I legit am living out life like they did in the Bible.
Something strange started to happen in my life— I was slowly dying. My old self was dying, as my new self was being born.
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away: behold, the new has come.” 2 Corinthians 5:17
As I started to feel and experience this transformation, I was scared—I had no idea what has happening to me.
Right now, I don’t really know who I am because I am experiencing freedom in Jesus Christ, and you know what? That is OK. It is OK because God tells me to just “be” and rest in Him. He calls me his child, and tells me that my identity is now in Jesus.
“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20
During this season of life, I have found a lot of silence. A silence that is just me and God being together. Sometimes we just sit and look at the mountains, we read books together, we go on walks, we talk to each other, and sometimes I just sit still before him and know.
“Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10
This was always one of my favorite verses that the Lord spoke over me saying how he wanted me to know what this looked like. And now here I am, sitting in this season being still with him and knowing him, and it is 100% OK with me.
I wouldn’t have it any other way. I hope the same for you too.
God bless,
Julia
