If you are reading this blog right now, I want you to know that you are not alone. You are not alone in your journey, whether you personally are affected by alcohol or you know someone who is affected by it. Alcohol affects everyone, but in different ways.
Here is my story.
Growing up, I never was tempted with alcohol, drinking, or the party scene really. I had a sound state of mind, but I battled with anxiety and depression throughout middle and high school up until my freshmen year of college. I go to West Virginia University, also known for being one of the biggest party schools in the country. I knew at some point I would be introduced to the opportunity to drink and party, but I didn’t know when or even how to approach it.
I am not going to lie to you, there are parts of my college experience that I do not remember. Alcohol was like a shiny new toy to me, and more than anything, I wanted a chance to play with it. My second semester of my freshmen year, I started going out more and drinking. I noticed that people began to pay more attention to me and even asked me to hang out with them more, so I began to drink more.
There are parts of college, which I am so ashamed of. There are nicknames I have been given that I am not proud of. There are memories, pictures, and names of boys that are all mixed in there, and I am haunted by my past. I thought I wasn’t redeemable, but God loves everyone, including the ones who drink too much.
I came to know Christ my sophomore year of college, and that’s when my life began to change. I no longer just believed in God, but I knew Him on a deeper level. I was in a relationship with God.When you start to know God personally, he starts to talk to you more and reveal more of His goodness to you. Once you know the truth, you cannot unsee it. And for me, the convictions started rolling in.
My junior year of college, I spent my first semester living at parties. This was honestly one of the darkest times in my life spiritually because God seemed to be so far away. I felt surrounded by darkness and I just ran from God entirely: I ran and ran until I was in the arms of some guy. I ran until I couldn’t remember anything. I ran until I literally hit rock bottom, and had nowhere to go but to God.
And that is what led me to be here today.
Almost a year and a half later, I am out of that dark part of my life. While I am stronger and more on fire for God today, I still find myself every now and then in this cycle where I drink too much. And today, that stops.
I will not be drinking for awhile because I am starting a drinking/alcohol fast. I see this cycle that I have been in, and I see the person alcohol makes me become and I hate it. I am not defined by alcohol because I am a daughter of God.
I am called to be set apart. I am meant to seek God first, and honor his ways. He will lead me away from temptation and restore in me a new spirit and heart. His will will be done.
I am not bound to alcohol because my chains ARE BROKEN. I AM SET FREE.
1 Peter 5:8-9 “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.”
I will be firm in my faith.
