“And so the great battle begins in earnest: not to lose heart as you find a life worth living” – John Eldredge
I’m off. As I’m writing this, I’m on a plane out of Oklahoma. Looking out at my land for the last time in 9 months. We’re above the clouds, they’re burning white like snow when the sun is shining on it. The light is a bit much, so my shade is down. And in the dark I’m just now able to process the last few weeks, just now able to sit and think.
The past few weeks have been hectic. It’s been a rush to get everything done and to make sure my affairs are in order for when I return. Even now, I’m not fully ready, but there’s nothing I can really change about my bags or preparations now, so I’m at peace with everything. I’m sure there are things I’ll need and won’t have, and things I’ll have but won’t need-I’m fully expecting to leave about a quarter of my gear in Guatemala as I get more comfortable with backpack living and realize what’s really essential versus what’s just dead weight. But as for now, there’s nothing more I can leave, nothing I can pack. My bags are as they are and goodbyes have been said-although even those last goodbyes to my family in the airport were rushed as the check in line was growing and I had to hurry through security.
I feel like Bilbo running out of Bag End. Excited for adventure, but realizing the weight of what I’ve really committed to and knowing that I’m not fully prepared for the months ahead. I’m doing good. I’m excited. A little nervous. Slightly sad because I realized that I left my hacky sack at home. But I’m mostly just excited. About this time last year I was flying out to India. At the time I was bitter and cynical. Now, I’m getting ready to go to Guatemala and I feel full of life. I’m attached to the vine, I’m learning to walk in John 15-remain in Him and bear fruit, but apart from Him there is nothing-and the Lord has brought life and redemption where none existed. I’m still learning about my faith and the about the world, but the Lord is faithful and He is good. I’m leaving Oklahoma in a good place, but I know there are still parts of my life the Lord is transforming. The plan is to chase the Lord and let Him do His work. For now it’s time to be the hands and feet of Jesus!
