This is a journal entry from the other night during worship:
When I never felt like I could explain the depths of my heart to anyone including myself, you already had the words. Even when I didn’t know you were listening, you were there. Thank you, Father.
When I openly rebelled against you for so long, you let me. You allowed me to walk away because you knew I would come back to you. There is no life away from you. Thank you, Father.
In my pride and attention-seeking, you give me grace. Jesus has given me all the grace I could ever know. You can’t give me more because you gave me all I needed. Jesus you have shown me how to come alive. Thank you.
Holy Spirit, you have shown me what it means to be wild, unfettered, and free. Thank you, Trinity. Thank you for the love you first showed each other that was so beautiful you wanted to bring others into the dance. You created us to love us, and when we betrayed your love and walked away, you stayed.
From the moment we fell into darkness you knew what had to happen, and you gave us yourself in the form of a man named Jesus. Thank you for your furious love and for rescuing us.
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It’s been over a week since we arrived at Hope Mountain in the Dominican Republic. It hasn’t been what we expected, but it’s been good. Our first week away from home we found ourselves stepping into ministry like we haven’t experienced before.
Our hosts, Vicky and Ruben, had been spending several days at the hospital with their three daughters who were all sick. Because of this, we didn’t have a whole lot of physical ministry (manual labor, outreach, etc.) for a few days.
However, Vicky and Ruben asked us to come together as a group to pray on behalf of their family and stand in the gap for their daughters. So that’s what we did. We prayed for rain, for healing, for Hope Mountain and for the Dominican Republic, and we saw God prove his faithfulness through answered prayer. It’s rained at least once a day for the last week after coming out of a drought. The girls are all back home from the hospital and Vicky and Ruben are getting back into the groove of their ministry.
I haven’t felt super different since leaving home. They told us at launch that the Race would not change us; rather, it would provide opportunities and put us in circumstances that would foster growth. When I heard that, I agreed with the logic of it, but it took my heart a few days to come around to it. I’m still wrestling with it.
One thing that’s been coming up a lot is God’s faithfulness to us. And we are so lucky to have a faithful father because we are so unfaithful to him. He proved his faithfulness at the cross by the illustration of his fierce love for us through Jesus; the ultimate fulfillment of his promise that he would have his bride.
I don’t feel like I have a whole lot to say, but I know that God is faithful. Even when I don’t feel like it, he still is unwavering in his faithfulness. We love you, Father.
