About a week and a half ago I walked through the arrival doors at the Philadelphia International Airport. The cold air was a bittersweet welcome, but it felt good to be home.
As I continue my re-entry process and reflect on the amazing year that God has lead me through I couldn’t help but consider some of the wonderful things I’ve seen and been a part of. Sometimes I look at my photos and it’s hard to believe that I was there not too long ago. That I viewed these things through my own eyes before lifting up my camera.
My hope is to never forget what I’ve seen, what I’ve felt, and the depths at which the Lord has taken me. If you are curious about my trip or just want to know specifics please feel free to call, email, text me anytime. I enjoy talking about it and sharing the work the Lord did in me and through me this year. Also, my next blog will be an update one what’s next for me so look out for that. Without further ado, here we go…
Month 1: Medellin, Colombia
Aerial view of Medellin from the cable car.
In Colombia I was introduced to what living every day in community with other believers looked like. It was a completely new and foreign concept to me, but one I began to embrace and really appreciate over the course of the year. The Lord began breaking down my religion and religious thinking. I began to learn what a relationship with Him really looked like and to choose relationship instead of religion.
Month 2: Ambato, Ecuador
Hospital Tour ice cream stop with Sterling and William.
In Ecuador the quote “He is no fool who gives which he cannot keep to gain that he cannot lose really came alive to me. I saw these words of Jim Elliot in the lives of the Purdy’s and William. I was encouraged and blessed greatly by their examples of giving. Giving of their time, energy and resources. I will always remember William’s simple and final words he said to me… “It’s always better to give.” His life truly reflected that. Toward the end of Ecuador during the Awakening, we were encouraged to ask the Lord to reveal an idol to let go. For me, it was my reputation. For many many years, my idol was my reputation. I cared what people thought of me. I strove to get good grades, to perform well on the soccer field, to look like I always had it together. He asked me to give that to Him.
Month 3: Machu Picchu, Peru
Machu Picchu in the morning light.
In Peru, I after surrendering my reputation and the things that used to define me, He began to show me what being a son looked like. My perspective of God began to change. It changed from condemning judge to loving Father. I learned that I did not have to strive or do anything to earn His love. I learned He loves me unconditionally. My perspective of my identity began to shift too. My identity used to be in what I did and accomplished instead of resting securely in God’s love. I also learned importance and value of sharing a meal with others. Its an idea that I want to adopt from Jesus’ style of living. Jesus spent a lot of time around the table during His ministry. He shared meals with a lot of people… His disciples, tax collectors, the 5000… Sharing a meal opens up the opportunity to get to know someone, to encourage, to listen, to enjoy each other’s company. During one of our studies in the Peters, 1 Peter 2:17 really stood out to me. It says, “Honor all people. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the king.” These four simple sentences really challenged me in how I should live my life.
Month 4: Burgos, Spain
The outskirts of Burgos on the final day of walking El Camino.
In Spain, I learned about the importance of the journey, not just the destination. For most of my life, I have rushed through the journey. I don’t like journeys because I like to get things done. I like endpoints and checking things off the list. Eventually I’m going to run out of things to check off the list and I’ll look back and see everything checked off. But what I won’t see are the journeys I rushed through and the people I could have met and things I could have done if I had just slowed down. I now see the importance of slowing down and taking time to enjoy and reflect what God has done in my life and to make myself available for what He has for me in the future. I also see the importance of enjoying the journey and the people along the way and the memories and impact you can have on each other.
Month 5: Zadar, Croatia
A chilly sunset in Zadar listening to the waves play the Sea Organ as they crashed against the marble steps.
In Croatia, the Lord redefined what ministry looked like for me. I used to have a really close-minded perspective on what missions consisted of. For me ministry on missions trips looked like building schools, distributing water filters, having VBS or coaching soccer. These are all great things that I loved doing. However ministry in Eastern Europe didn’t look like that because there wasn’t that same need. The common need all over the world is Jesus. There’s a quote that was shared with us at training camp that says, “Life is ministry and ministry is life.” It was so over said it didn’t mean much to me. However when it was said several months later and it finally clicked for me. We were asked to define ministry and I wrote: Loving people the way Jesus did and bringing God’s kingdom to earth. We don’t have to be overseas or on a mission trip to do ministry. We just need to be available and interruptible. When we look at Jesus’s ministry, He didn’t have a rigid itinerary. He just loved the people in front of Him. Jesus sat with people, walked with people, ate with people and built relationships with people.
We split our time between Croatia and Bosnia & Herzegovina this month. In Bosnia my new view of God and identity in Him finally clicked when I was asked to share part of my testimony. The students had been learning about The Prodigal Son and I shared part of my testimony when I was like the prodigal son. During my college years, I lived for myself more than I lived for God. Like the son who left home to squander his father’s inheritance in the world, I looked for validation and identity in things of the world. I idolized success and my reputation. I put my identity in being a good student, athlete and member of society so that I would be able to acquire a good job after graduation. These things are all good things, but not when they’re the final end goal. It was after those three years of striving for success by the world’s standard did I look back and reflect and realize none of this mattered in the long run. I couldn’t take my gpa, awards, money and success with me after this life. What good was all the success and money, if my relationship with the Lord wasn’t where I wanted it to be. I desired a change and to restore my relationship with God.
What still gets me even to this day is written below…
“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him…”
His father saw him while he was still a long way off. The father was looking, waiting for his son to come home. He was scanning the horizon waiting to see his son to come into view. This was God, when I had turned my back and gone my own way. He was there, waiting to celebrate my return. Thats the unconditional love I had heard about but never really grasped until then. It was also then when my identity in Him really clicked. I felt secure in my identity in Him. I didn’t feel like I had to strive or earn His or people’s approval. The things that used to define me and where I had placed my identity in were still important to me, but they no longer defined me. I could finally rest in being a son in the kingdom.
Month 6: Kotor, Montenegro
A view that will never get old, Kotor overlook on the way down from St. John’s fort.
In Montenegro, I continued to learn the importance of being interruptible. Being on the race the Lord has challenged me to submit to His mission and not my mission. I’ve learned that He doesn’t give us a crazy itinerary of things to do, but instead He gives us people to love. This idea I can take everywhere, but comes down to the daily decision to consciously submit to His mission and not to my agenda. I’m not perfect at it, but seeing Jesus’ example encourages me greatly.Being interruptible allows God to use you in ways you never saw coming. He surprises you when you to stop for the one or ones that are on His heart. Over and over in the Gospels, Jesus interrupts his agenda for those who have nothing to offer him but need everything from Him.
I also was challenged in the area of trusting Him with my finances when Doug spoke at church one Sunday. He left us with, “You can’t out give God, He’ll repay you with more you can imagine.” I think it so true, there is no shortage of funds in God’s economy, He is always faithful to provide. I was challenged by this story to give more. But not to give expecting a reward, but to give out of obedience and trust in Him.
Month 7: Bogor Outskirts, Indonesia
After school soccer with the boys, bare feet and sandals were the norm that month.
In Indonesia, I read a new book called Everybody, Always by Bob Goff. The biggest take away from the book for me was the title. Two simple words, but a very big challenge. We’re called to love everybody, always. For me thats a challenge. There are times when I have bad days and nobody is feeling the love. Or there are those people who are hard to love, and instead of loving them, I treat them with respect but keep them at a distance. Its been interesting trying to walk through life with that mindset of loving everybody, always. Bob says it better than me, thats why He’s the writer… “One thing has remained the same. Every time I wonder who I should love and for how long I should love them, God continues to whisper to me: Everybody, always.”
Having so much ministry this month was great, and I also learned the importance of taking time to be still with the Lord. By constantly pouring yourself out to others you eventually become empty. I didn’t want to be pouring out emptiness, so I would take some time to be with the Lord. I was able to have quiet time and reenergize by taking intentional time to unwind and relax in the Lord’s presence. I took time to read, pray and worship. It was sometimes hard taking that time and I almost felt selfish in doing so, but I knew that I can’t just keep going and going without being poured into. At some point I needed to stop and spend that time with God.
Month 8: Penang, Malaysia
Uncle Ben running the show in kitchen, risky move taking this picture for your viewing pleasure.
In Malaysia I worked in Uncle Ben’s kitchen. It was an honor to work along side him and I learned a ton. My favorite thing I learned from Uncle Ben was his standard of excellence. It didn’t matter who Uncle Ben was serving the food to, he always made sure it was the best it could be. He took the extra time to make sure it was cooked and presented right. Malaysia was another spot where I witnessed the Lord’s strategic logistical hand when He crossed our paths with a missionary family who needed some help moving into their new home. I’m still blown away by how He pieces everything together so perfectly.
Month 9: Chiang Mai, Thailand
Cody and Alan with the crew after a day of teaching english, I learned a lot about hospitality from them.
In Thailand, I learned about faith of Abraham and laying things on the alter and allowing the Lord to do what He wanted with them. From Alan and Cody, I learned generosity and hospitality. I was honored to have met them and am very thankful for the time I spent with them. I saw how the Lord uses broken people (me) to share the gospel. The quote, “we were made by God for God and until we understand that, life won’t make sense.” has a new meaning to me and I now see and understand the importance of being satisfied in Him and only because only then will I be satisfied and content.
Month 10: Battambang, Cambodia
Unconventional but effective surface preparation with an ax, only in Cambodia.
In Cambodia I learned about brokenness. The Lord showed me the importance and need of expressing emotions and love. He also showed me the importance being vulnerable and transparent with those around me but also with Him. I learned and was challenged to put out the real version of Jesse Martinez, emotions and all. I met a guy named Luke who encouraged and challenged me two words: Joyful surrender. Not just surrendering out of obedience and not being happy about it, but surrendering with joy because thats what the Lord wants. Definietly easier said than done for me, but I was super encouraged by Luke’s wisdom.
I also learned that following Jesus is an adventure and that He doesn’t always give us all the details and plans and thats okay. He wants us trust Him, let Him work and be blown away when He finally reveals why. “God gave the wise men a direction, not a bunch of instructions, it wasn’t a business trip, it was an adventure, then and now.” – Bob Goff
Month 11: Cainta, Philippines
The last day with the squad.
In the Philippines, I learned about joy. Maybe it was because the race was coming to an end or maybe it was the joy in the faces of the people of the Philippines. I learned that God is good, a classic cliche Christian line but also one of His promises. He is a good God. He wants whats best for us and He loves us.
In the beginning of the race I was given a key with the word hope inscribed on it. It had been several months since I had given the key away, but I was still asking God about hope and what it meant for me. One day I was on Facebook scrolling through and I saw a post from my mentor who walked through my decision to go on the race with me. Every year he makes a wooden Christmas decoration for his yard. My jaw dropped when I saw what he made this year. The picture showed a simplified Christmas tree with a white circle in the center of it and the word hope written in red. There was a simple tree but a profound message based on Romans 5:3-5 that states, “Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” Someone shared that verse with me in Thailand and I bumped into it again in the Philippines. This time the meaning stuck and I was blown away by God’s timing in revealing when I walk through brokenness and suffering to continue hope in Him and not lose sight of His promises.
The last and final thing I took away from the Philippines was something Christazia shared with me. It went something along the lines her seeing a picture of me swinging from vines like Tarzan saying, “I’m free.” And that I’m walking in freedom. Cue Now we’re free from Gladiator… I took some time to think on what she shared and I was like wow, thats spot on. Looking back and seeing what the Lord did in my life, I’m amazed and so thankful. I was truly walking in freedom. He freed me from my religion and showed me relationship. The things that used to define me, now compliment me because I know my true identity as a son. I’m free to hang the real version of my self out there, the real Jesse Martinez, with my struggles and emotions and all.
