At the transition from November to December, from Lebanon to Jordan, God gave me a new word to hold onto. He hasn’t done a lot of drawn-out word studies with me in the past, mostly just small epiphanies while reading the passages of scripture. I knew this time, it was a long-term commitment, a revelation over time, a lesson for a season. But that he was going to teach me something BIG.
Regarding Faithfulness.
I’m STILL learning what this word means, what it reveals about my Heavenly Father, and what it requires and asks of me. This is what God has taught me so far:
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Faithfulness is divine.
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Faithfulness requires great sacrifice.
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Faithfulness is the automatic fruit of love.
Faithfulness is not something that we humans are naturally bent toward. We steal, cheat, lie, quit, run and hide. Faithfulness is not based in fear, but in faith – believing that the unseen, and even the improbable WILL materialize. We have to CHOOSE to believe that marriages will last, that friendship will persevere beyond conflict, and that God will faithfully provide all of our needs according to the riches of Christ Jesus.
Faithfulness requires great sacrifice. We have to die to ourselves to be faithful. One unconventional (but super valid) example comes to mind regarding self-faithfulness: dieting.
I was gluten free and dairy free for over a year before I was healed of Celiac’s disease. I refrained from eating out because I was so susceptible to cross-contamination. And let’s be real, the South puts dairy in EVERYTHING. I had to find out, what did it look like to be faithful to myself & my body once I realized the cause of so much pain? It was not easy. Forgive my dry humor, but I had to tell a very convincing and loud part of my body “NO” (my mind and my taste buds) to keep the sanctity of my promised diet and to preserve my relationship with my intestines. Faithfulness was a moment by moment choice of self-love.
Faithfulness in community is an even more beautiful fruit of love, because it edifies and protects Christ’s body. Self preservation is REAL, y’all. And I often want to choose “out” when I feel misunderstood, misrepresented, overlooked, or dishonored. How can I choose faithfulness toward my friends and squad-mates when I feel this way? By choosing “in”. Faithfulness ends up looking like what Jesus describes in… (the whole new testament, TBH, but since that’s hard to quote…) Matt 16:24-26
24 Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.
25 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.
26 For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?
Willfully losing my self-preservation tactics in order to find the life that Jesus promises in community. That is love. That is faithfulness.
*1 Corinthians 13 is also a great read on what steadfast love is all about.*
Faithfulness also builds trust. I cannot express the deep sorrow I experienced upon realizing I had let down a teammate, a friend. The hurt I saw in their eyes made me never want to mess up, ever again. Not that it is possible, but it sure made me want to try. When we are faithful to our word and keep our promises, our relationships are deepened in trust. When we choose out, it hurts not only ourselves, but those with whom we have relationship.
However, faithfulness is not perfection. I remember a sweet, sweet quiet time with the Lord. I was processing some pretty heavy stuff and it was almost like a TV break in my mind, “We interrupt this program…” God started speaking words of love over me:
“Hannah, you have never broken your commitment to ME. Since you were Six. You have been so obedient…”
That’s not all He said, but I immediately began to argue. “That’s not true! I KNOW I have broken promises to you. I have been disobedient, and straight up willfully rebellious at times!” But he doesn’t remember those instances, because Jesus washed away my mistakes. The Father doesn’t see my disobedience, or my broken promises. He just knows the goodness of me. Because Jesus’ blood covers the wrong and makes me completely new again. All the Father remembers is the goodness of who I am, and what Jesus did on the cross. Wow.
I am convinced this level of forgetful forgiveness is required for full faithfulness to take place. How can I receive this kind of earth-shattering forgiveness towards my faithfulness (or lack thereof) and NOT give the same stuff to others? I don’t know how it’s possible without Jesus, but in relationship with him, it’s impossible to NOT forgive, restore, and refresh brokenness.
Thank you for reading this especially in-depth blog! I hope it encourages you and leads you into deeper places with the Father.
Please pray for me as I continue to explore this, and many other themes along my journey! I am so thankful for you and any others who have been praying for me. I have been praying for each of you as the Lord brings you to my mind (quite often throughout each day).
Much love!
Hannah
