i’m halfway through my 3 months in africa. that means, i’m coming home soon.
this past week ive been thinking about my future. my future in africa, my future in the states, my future at college, my future in my faith. so one night after a long day i was chilling outside watching the stars (my fav hobby). just thinking about life and jesus and home & scary realization hit me— i’m scared. the thought of leaving africa and heading back to the place i’ve called home all my life scares me. AND it was only a month and a half ago that i left comfort (home) and jumped into the uncomfortable (AFRICA).
the past month and a half have changed my life. i didn’t know the kind of life i could live until i packed my bag and flew around the world. i didn’t know the kind of love i could feel until i packed my bag and flew around the world. & i’m only just beginning the insane adventure jesus calls my life. now— africa is my comfort. africa is my home. my team has become my family.
i’m scared to go home and explain to the people i love most what i saw and lived the last 3 months. why i’m different & the insane things i saw that are normal to me now. what’s wifi? marriage proposals on the street? saying hi and hello to every stranger you pass? everything running late? waking up to the sound of the taxi driver honking telling you it’s time to go? being handed little babies the instant you smile? being trusted just because of your skin color? i don’t know how to live in america anymore.
don’t get me wrong. the thought of hugging my parents, my sister, my best friends, & my DOGS makes me smile like a kid. but the living in america part? the going back to “real life” part. i don’t think i’m capable of that anymore.
god calls us to live in the uncomfortable moments. it most definitely sucks sometimes, but it’s also the reason for some of our most beautiful moments. he called me to leave my comfortable life in carmel, indiana and move to africa. he called me to leave my family and live with 10 other crazy humans. he called me to love the ones no one else wants to love. he called me to be the face of jesus even when i’m struggling. and at the end of april, he’s calling me back home. he brought me here so i could see what my life could look like. so i could see what living fully for him looks like. sometimes it seems easier to love jesus in africa, when you give kids an egg and know it’s their only meal or leading bible studies daily. but in reality it’s easy to love jesus anywhere, what matters is your actions & how you love.
{a cool announcement :)}
in the fall i’ll be moving… to college! i’ll be living in the cutest apartment with some friends just off campus in bloomington, indiana. i’ll be a sophomore (ish) at indiana university. at this point i’m planning to major in social work!
but can i tell you a secret?
i’ll be returning to africa. i promise.
—
one of the phrases i keep repeating to myself here is “be where your feet are.” it’s been one of the most relevant things in my life the past month. a couple weeks into my time in zambia, i got the email that said i was accepted into IU! a couple weeks later i got an offer to come back to zambia and help run an orphanage. and immediately i was frustrated. i already committed to my school & signed the lease for an apartment for the next year. my thought process changed immediately. i started to think “ill be stuck in school for a year but after the year i can move back to zambia.” school sounded morbid. the last thing i wanted to do was go to school in the states. i was confused- why would god make school seem like the right choice and then when it’s too late show me zambia?
his answer was clear, be where your feet are. god put school in front of me, and it feels right. instead of wishing away school, ill enjoy it and love jesus in whatever way i can. i don’t know where i’ll be in the next 2 years, but god does & that makes my heart jump with excitement. be where your feet are in every minute of life. right now, it’s zimbabwe. next month it’ll be south africa. 3 months from now it’ll be indiana. i can love jesus everywhere i am. but i can’t love the people around me if my mind is constantly wishing the time away.
love,
hallie
