I’ll be honest, fundraising is hard. It’s discouraging, thought-consuming, and sometimes heartbreaking. Some days it’s all I can think about. That final number, constantly taunting me. The devil continuously putting lies in my head; telling me I’m not good enough, that God isn’t going to provide, that this is all a waste of time. The devil comes in our times of utter weakness. He knows how powerful God is, and he HATES it. His mission is to make us HATE God. To believe all the lies he tells us. He doesn’t want us to live proudly in God’s light, he wants us to cower in the darkness. But FRIENDS. Jesus already paved the way for us. When He died on the cross, He placed our lives and our hearts in the light.
As I’m sitting in front of my laptop with spreadsheets open and tons of Pinterest fundraising pages open, I know with all certainly in my heart that God’s got my back. He’s protecting my heart from the devil, and He’s got a great plan in the works for my life.
HE IS FAITHFUL.
Fundraising has been difficult. For a while I was so intimidated by it that I ignored it. Anytime the thought of fundraising (or even money) would pop in my head, I’d immediately replace the thought. But while I IGNORED it, I was still expectant. — “Why aren’t you providing for me?” — I asked God over and over why no one was donating. Why it seemed like no one believed in me. But during all that time, I didn’t even believe in myself. I was so doubtful. In the back of my head I was confident that I would never raise the money.
When I finally realized my own mistake, I asked myself “How could God provide for me if I doubted HIM?” In not believing in myself, I wasn’t believing in God’s power or His faithfulness. I was doubting everything He had already provided for me, everything He had already put in place. While I was telling everyone this great news of where I was going after high school- that I was going on the World Race, and how I would serve the Lord- I told myself I wasn’t worth it. Why? I let my own insecurities go so far that I began to doubt God.
BUT. I’m here to tell you, God truly is faithful.
God speaks to our hearts in different ways. Recently, God has brought realizations to my heart. He has humbled me by showing me how He has been at work in my life. I recently had coffee with my oh-so-wise dad. We sat down and really looked at what fundraising looked like for me. It was definitely difficult. But after, I sat down with my journal and began to write. I opened up my bible and read through some scripture. One verse really stuck out to me, “For all the animals in the forest are mine, and I own the cattle on a thousand hills.” Psalm 50:10. He owns the cattle on A THOUSAND HILLS. And just like that, He will make the way for me, and for you.
A week ago today, a friend of mine hosted a fundraiser for me. In that one day, 24 hours, over $700 was donated. I never expected to receive anything close to this, but I know it was all God’s doing. Once I opened up my heart to God, once I trusted Him, He provided for me. He showed me His faithfulness, and He has continued to. I am so excited about fundraising. I might sound crazy, but I’m pumped about it! God’s filled my heart and spirit with so much joy, excitement, and strength as I dive headfirst into this fundraising journey!
~~ This blog post is really special to me. I wanted to be honest. I wanted to write this so that everyone can see God’s faithfulness, but I also wrote it because I want everyone to know this journey isn’t easy. I don’t want to put on this face of constant strength, or act like I have it all figured out, because trust me, I don’t. I wanted my family, my best friends, my northview family, and even strangers to be apart of this overwhelming, exciting, and difficult adventure. Fundraising IS scary. It can knock you down sometimes, but don’t worry, God is there to pick you back up. It’s okay to be lost, it’s okay to be discouraged. But don’t stop looking for the light. God is there. He is waiting. He is fighting for you. And He will continue to be present, He will continue to wait, and He will continue to fight for you.~~
I love you all, and hope you enjoy your Saturday 🙂
