I’m sitting here in our brightly lit dining room feeling comfortably cool and relaxed from a beautiful day of Sabbath. In the background is the new South African song that we learned during worship night called “Come Holy Spirit Uthando.” This month, we have the liberty of playing music from our laptops because electricity is easily accessible in our ministry home.
We’re staying in a spacious hostel above the Oakridge Primary School at the Global Leadership Academy campus in Jeffrey’s Bay, South Africa. The walls around me display arts and crafts from several young students and reminds me of my classroom back home in Florida. The room next to us is a fully equipped kitchen with novelties such as a microwave, toaster, and tea kettle.
A 2-minute walk away is a small campus coffee shop where we can easily access WiFi. There’s a huge rugby field perfect for exercising. It’s been a comfortable living arrangement because many aspects of where we are living now reminds me of home. And, the weather has been a refreshing change from the hot summer months of Dominican Republic and Haiti.
To be honest, it’s been a difficult adjustment for me. I didn’t expect to have this type of comfort while being away on my missionary trip. I was nervous that all the things that remind me of my Western culture would make me too comfortable. I feared that maybe I would get distracted from feeling the presence of God. I grew anxious as I imagined myself 9 months from now sitting in a coffee shop back home being comfortable, unavailable and uninterruptible for what God wants me to do and living in my old self-absorbed world.
I was overwhelmed and fearful that I would stop hearing from my Lord. I hear Him best when I’m uncomfortable. I believe it’s because when I’m not giving into my own flesh or temptation then all I have left is His presence. It causes a change to happen within me and I begin to live for the Spirit. It’s been my prayer since I left home – Holy Spirit, make me uncomfortable and lead me to find comfort only in Jesus.
But, here I was feeling comfortable in my surroundings. I opened my Bible asking the Holy Spirit to help me and guide me through the Word and I was led to this passage in Psalm 119:
“How can a young person stay pure? By obeying Your Word. I have tried hard to find You – don’t let me wander from Your commands. I have hidden Your Word in my heart that I might not sin against You. I praise You, O Lord; teach me Your decrees.” The Psalmist continues saying, “I will delight in Your decrees and not forget Your Word.”
It was revealed to me after meditating on this scripture that the fear I was experiencing was not a feeling from the Lord, but rather it is the devil’s attempt to keep me in the delusion that I still belong to my old self and therefore not in Christ. But the truth is that I am a new creation in Christ and the old has passed away (2 Corinthians 5:17) and His Word has taken root in my heart.
My surroundings might have changed, but Jesus remains constant. He can help me through this, but I must be humble enough to ask the Holy Spirit for help. Obedience to His commands whether I’m in a tienda in the Dominican Republic, evangelizing in Haiti, chinking nails in a log home in South Africa, or drinking coffee at Starbucks in the United States is the highest form of worship. No matter where I am called to be, Jesus is always with me. Certainly, He’ll stay closer to me as I abide in Him.
It took a few days, but I’ve adjusted to living here in South Africa. Helping to build a log home for future missionaries that will be serving here has been life-giving for me. I also love helping at a school called Ithemba where I’ve made beautiful connections with the staff and children. Throughout my day I am full of joy and not covered in sweat which is a nice reprieve. I’m excited for what God has in store for us next, but I’m enjoying the abundant blessings of the present moment. Jesus is here in South Africa, just as He’s always been walking beside me.
