*Disclaimer* HEY GUYS I’m so sorry it has been so long since an update! China’s firewalls are no joke, and transitioning from the field back home has been so good, but definitely stolen most of my brain power! Also, I miiiiight have gotten myself locked out of my own blog. I wrote this blog a couple of weeks prior to returning home, but still wanted to give you a glimpse into life at that point. Thank you for your support! More updates coming soon!
The End of The Race
It came quick. As they say, “The days are long, and the months are short.” But now that we’re within two weeks of the end, even the days seem short. Everyone is asking “what’s next?”, and the scary thing is you might actually have an idea. Everyone back home is saying “ I can’t wait to see you!”, and you’re giving a completely honest “Me too!”, but there is a very real tension in your heart.
It actually physically hurts sometimes. The thought of leaving these people who have become family. Who’ve known you inside and out for the last year. Returning to the place you started— where the people you love are waiting, along with the contrast of who you have been and who you’ve become. You will enter into similar situations and conversations as you had before but as a completely different person. Sure, you have the same name and face, mannerisms and personality, but with a 70 liter backpack full of life-altering experiences that you will never quite be able to fully share.
Month 12:
Location? St. Louis, Missouri, USA
Transportation? Contacts may provide transportation, public trans available, etc.
Lodging? Family & friends have offered lodging
Length of Stay? Unknown
Reason for stay? …
For the past eleven months, we have practiced some different disciplines which have become like second nature to us. When we enter into a new country, or even city, we have specific questions we ask about culture, beliefs, etiquette, etc. We pray about which city to travel to, look up potential contacts in the area, if we don’t already have them, and plan our details around the things that God reveals to us. With every place we go and person we meet, we ask “what is the Gospel for this person/this place? I found that in making plans to return to my hometown, I disregarded some of these things. After all, of course I have a place to stay, I know the culture and the people there. I know God’s heart for this place… or do I? When I actually stopped to ask, I realized there is so much more he wants to do than I know.
At some point during the race, I stopped thinking about “the race”. I stopped feeling like I was part of a program or organization. We had gotten accustomed to certain aspects of traveling and adapting to our surroundings, and leadership had let up on the reins quite a bit. We were making many of our own decisions about where to go, what to do, and how to spend our time. Freedom. A word that had really, quite honestly, scared the heck outta me at the beginning of the race. How did our leadership expect us to know what to do? What if we did something wrong? What about the RULES??
Haha… rules are still important, don’t worry, things haven’t gotten too out of hand. But here’s what they knew and what I found out. There is freedom in submission to God. When we would spend time asking God what to do, he’d actually tell us. When you’re dropped on the side of a random road in Armenia with no idea where you are and no understanding of the language? No problem, he’ll give you peace and protection. When you get lost in a giant Moroccan market without any type of way to communicate? Pray for guidance, he’ll actually give it. When you’re knees and feet and— let’s face it, your whole body is giving out on El Camino? He’ll sustain you. When the police show up at your door at midnight in China and you aren’t sure at all what’s going on, he’ll help you figure it out. When there are threatening situations, he’ll give you wisdom.
So when you’re getting off the plane in your hometown… don’t worry. He’s the same God.
