I’M HEALED AND MINISTRY IN THAILAND
First off, this blogs title has to do with the 3rd thing I’ve learned this month so bear with me as I update you on my life. Secondly, I want to apologize for not letting y’all know the moment I knew my blood clot was gone. Thank you all so much for all your prayers and support. On Christmas Eve I saw the doctor again and he confirmed that the blood clot was indeed gone. I was free to leave for Chang Dao the following day.
The orphanage I am living in is run by a married couple (our ministry hosts), Waneeta and Aaron. There are 15 kids here that they are providing for, teaching, and raising in the Lord. Waneeta is a sweet and gentle soul. She is also an excellent cook (I look forward to each meal!) who serves us the best Thai rice dishes. Aaron is a very hard worker and wants what is best for the kids here. He has a piece of land where he plans to build a new orphanage for the kids. He is also a really funny guy. He is always joking with us guys and is a joy to be around. They both care for us a lot. It is such a blessing to stay with them and I wish I could for longer.
We live in our own room with beds. We have showers but no hot water. We have squattie potties that do not flush. We have drinkable water provided and also a water steamer. There is one common room where we normally eat and hang out. I honestly feel really spoiled here. It is cozy and comfortable. I love our hosts and the way they provide and lead us. I also really love the kids, with whom we get plenty of time to play with. And on top of all that, we have really good WiFi.
The first two days of “ministry” we didn’t actually stay in Chang Dao. We went to a small village where my ministry host, Waneeta, grew up. She was working with a church there and she wanted to bring us so that we could see village life. It was a relaxing couple days. Friday was my first actual day of ministry in Chang Dao. We are helping build a wall around the land where the future orphanage will be. So far that has consisted of cutting and digging up bamboo tree roots and stumps, moving cinder blocks, digging a trench, and laying down a cement foundation.
It’s sad that I am leaving this place on Saturday. I’ve only spent three nights here at the orphanage and will only spend four more. (We are leaving for Debrief and then will be heading to Myanmar for a month. I am hopeful that when we come back to Thailand for another month that we will get to live here again.) Despite the fact that the time here has been short and flown by and I’ve only had a handful of ministry days the Lord has taught me some very real things this month.
THREE THINGS I’VE LEARNED IN THAILAND
1.
Temptation is everywhere and I will always need God to overcome it. Throughout the three days of mini debrief, travel, orientation, and then being stuck in Chang Mai with a blood clot I have definitely slipped out of many of the habits/disciplines that I started in Guatemala. I’ve been very inconsistent to spend time in the Word each day and when I do it hasn’t been “productive.” I haven’t been consistent to pray before bed and when I have they have been more of a chore rather than genuine times of communion, worship, and delight. I’ve also been inconsistent with my journaling and yoga before bed. To top it all off I’ve also fallen out of practice with disciplining my mind to always be aware of and joyful because of the presence of God.
Falling out of these habits didn’t seem like a huge deal to me. “I’ll just cruise until I get to a more consistent living situation and then start back up.” That was my excuse. But there are a few things I’ve realized that are faulty about this thinking. One, I may not have a consistent living situation the next couple months. And who knows how “consistent” my living will be throughout life. I show true faith and dedication to the Lord when I devote myself to Him in times of transition. The other fault is that you don’t fall out of good habits just to sit neutral for a while before you decide continue. You are always forming habits. This is clearly proved by the way our brains work and form neural pathways. That means if you have paused good habits you are falling into bad habits. As I lived my life the past few weeks not giving Jesus priority number 1 in my life I fell into complacency, mindless and sinful pleasure, and laziness. This past week I’ve been having to struggle to start up my old habits again.
2.
The Lord always has a purpose. This is something I’ve always known but something the Lord has specifically reminded me of this month. I touched on that a bit in my last blog so I don’t want to go too in depth here. It was easy for me to feel useless at the base in Chang Mai as I healed from my blood clot. But the Lord doesn’t put us in places of uselessness. Wherever the Lord has me I can be of use. I just have to keep my eyes open. In the midst of disappointment and pain the Lord has a great purpose. God is always working and always setting things up for us. The Lord is going to use me. But the measure of how He uses me is dependent on how attentive I am and then how obedient I am.
3.
What does it mean to live the best possible life in Christ Jesus; what does it mean to live in Christ alone? This is something I’ve thought about before but the Lord just recently brought back to my mind. And it’s a question worth considering. It’s a question that has the power to change everything about my life. It’s possible that I’ll never be the same depending on how the Lord reveals the answer to this. Honestly I let my thought process roll as I wrote, so much of what is written here isn’t necessarily what I’ve been praying about or learning. It’s just where my train of thought has gone. So bear with me. I definitely will be praying and thinking about this a lot in the upcoming month though so I may write another blog about what the Lord has answered or what I’ve discovered.
Paul said, “Everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial.” Similarly I think it could also be said, “many things are beneficial, but not everything is best.” How can I live the best life that God has for me and still enjoy myself? Or is even enjoying myself important for this life?
At first it doesn’t seem like it is. I will have eternity to enjoy myself and enjoy peace with God. Here and now is for ministry. Here and now is to spread God’s Word so that all may have the chance to know Him. I should lay down my life completely. There is truth in this. But what does laying down my life look like? I don’t believe it’s possible to completely neglect yourself and live righteously. I remember a quote said something along these lines: “Be careful not to live too righteously; don’t neglect your flesh completely of little and innocent pleasures; if you do you will end up falling into deeper temptations and deeper sins”. I have found this to be true in my own life as I’ve sought to live in a godly manner.
In Guatemala I think I came to realize through many hours of silence, meditation, and just being in the Lord’s presence that all my needs are met in Christ alone. I had given up on reading books for much of that time and it pushed me into deeper intimacy with the Lord. Maybe there is a point where you can be completely and utterly absorbed in God’s love and a relationship with Him that you need nothing else. Maybe as you learn to discipline your mind to be always aware of God; meditating and focusing on Him, giving up everything else is possible. But as for me, I’m not at that point yet. My mind is easily distracted and if I jumped straight into completely denying my flesh (for the benefits of my spirit) I would end up falling into sinful pleasures of the flesh (and thus hindering my spirit). This has happened to me before.
I always hear people saying we are beings of the spirit. Which is true. But we are also beings of the flesh. The Lord created our flesh and called it good. The union of flesh and spirit is what makes us human. In that knowledge, as I’ve engaged in things I love, such as reading, I do it on purpose. I want to do all things on purpose. As for me, that purpose is to glorify God and bring praise to Him. I want to live in enjoyment of the little things and glorify God through that as I offer up thanks.
If I invite God into and thank Him for my laughter while reading Calvin and Hobbes then that is glorifying to God. If I invite God into and thank Him for the beauty I find in a book then I am bringing glory to Him. If I watch a movie with friends and find principles of life to live by and share those things with them then I am bringing glory to God. How then do you determine if an action is right or wrong. I think a lot of it has to do with purpose. If I go into each of those things I just mentioned as a distraction from boredom then they are wrong. If those things and the pleasure they bring are the end goal then they are wrong. Bringing God glory should always be the end goal. So if I use those things as a means to achieving that goal then they are right and good. God has created this world and I believe He wants me to enjoy it. As long as I’m following God’s will for my life, then doing things I enjoy for God’s glory is always a good thing.
If you have thoughts on any of this please leave a comment. I would love to hear and learn from those with more experience and wisdom than myself.
PRAYER REQUESTS
As always thank you all for your continued support and prayers. Prayers specifically for me to make the most of the last few days here and to transition well (continuing in the habits/disciplines that I’ve started).
Also for wisdom to know what it means to live in Christ alone and to be obedient in what the Lord convicts me in.
Lastly for all those on my squad who still have fundraising to do. The deadline is mid January. The Lord is doing such a great work through all of them and so many people would remain untouched by God’s love if any of them were sent home.
Reference Joe’s blog to see who still needs funding: https://joetakayoshi.theworldrace.org/post/help-the-homies If you feel called to give it will mean so much to them, to me, and for the Kingdom. Make sure that you check these out on a computer or iPad – a phone won’t show you if they still need funds. A few of these squad mates of mine have reached their goal since Joe wrote the blog! But many are still in need. Thank you for considering.
