“It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.” – J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring, Bilbo Baggins
Launch dates were posted today! I’ll be leaving for the World Race on either September 8th or the 9th! I feel much like Bilbo and Frodo must have felt at the fore end of their journeys. They had almost no idea what they were getting themselves into. I feel quite the same.
With all the financial and spiritual preparations of preparing for an adventure that’ll take me all around the world for nine long months I’ve almost completely ignored any aspect of emotional preparation. It seems less important than the other two. Without finances the trip would be impossible. Without spiritual readiness the trip would be fruitless. But the last couple weeks I’ve realized that I need to be emotionally preparing myself as well.
Washington Family Ranch is my home. I have lived here my whole life and have never known life away from here. The longest I’ve ever been away from home is a month (during the several WCs I’ve been apart of). But even those were still in Young Life community and felt almost like home.
My family are my best friends. Growing up here in this small community has been hard at times. It has left me with few guy friends my age for many years. But that has driven me deeper into my relationships with each one of my family members and it has been such a blessing. I’m going to miss them so much.
I’m going to be leaving all of this for a nine months. Though I will not see my family life will go on for them. I will miss Thanksgiving and Christmas (oh how I love Christmas with family). I will miss morning devotionals and evening games (ending promptly at 7 to usher in the movies and shows for the rest of the evening XD ). I will miss my quiet walks through camp simply enjoying the company of my Lord. I will miss sitting atop the mountains and looking out over God’s wonderful creation; feeling blessed to call them home. I will miss simply being silent. I will miss being a child; carefree, blissful, and wondering about the future. But most of all I will miss being with my family. I will miss making memories with my fam everyday; missing important parts of their lives. Being with my best friends every day.
I only have six months to live here at my wonderful home. I recently read a blog by Jay Bryner (jaybryner.com) and he mentioned a question he heard from someone: “What parts of your day are you taking for granted, that ten, twenty, fifty years from now you would pay a fortune to relive? What aspects of your day are you preforming on autopilot that you would give anything to be experiencing again? How would you live your life if you knew that you would have to eternally relive this life in a kind of infinite loop?” Something else that Jay mentioned was the Latin phrase memento mori which translates as “remember that you will die.”
These questions and this last phrase I find so very relevant for my last six months here. I won’t get these six months back ever and I will miss them so dearly so I should live them to the fullest and enjoy even the small things. But not only do I find it relevant for these six months but also for the following nine and then for the rest of my life. We are all going to die; we are all going to receive judgement (and rewards) for our actions. One day I am going to leave everything of this earth behind and be welcomed into the loving arms of my holy heavenly Father. I want to live every day with that perspective in mind.
Although I will miss home very dearly, I am reminded by this deep sadness for leaving that this isn’t my true home. My soul was not made for this place. My soul was made for the gates of Heaven. This strong connection I feel in the deep places of my soul with this place and these people I’ve spent my whole life with is only the slightest taste of what it will be like in the next life. My soul was made to live in a perfect and holy relationships; with our great and holy God as well as brothers and sisters in Christ. That is what I hope and live for. I get tastes of that here. But those tastes are cut short or tainted because of my sin. Until He comes again or calls me home I will strive to expand His Kingdom here on earth by giving others the same opportunity to join the incredible family of God.
My childhood and thus my life here at WFR is coming to a close; my soul is saddened by this. A part of me wishes life could go on forever here. But I’m also more excited than I can describe. I have a whole life of discovery and God filled adventure before me. I know not what it’ll hold. But I know if I trust Him it will hold beauty. It will hold pain and hardship, but through that it will also bring faith proved genuine and true lifegiving joy.
In this upcoming year abroad, I’ll experience new homes with new family; a family of broken people being made whole in God’s redeeming love; all bound together in our love for Jesus Christ and more importantly His love for us. Because of His amazing power and grace and the Holy Spirit moving in us we will be bringing that same love to the broken and hurting of the world who most desperately need Him.
And after that, the Lord will direct me onwards towards whatever is next. The future is unknown and impossible to predict, but my all-powerful Father will always stay the same and He is with me and for me. I rejoice in that!
“Some believe it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. It is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay. Small acts of kindness and love.” – J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring, Gandalf the Gray
Also, If you’ve never read The Lord of the Rings trilogy… read it. It’s laced with spiritual truths while telling the greatest fantasy adventure you’ll ever read.
