As I look forward to this adventure of a lifetime, that is the World Race, there is a lot of preparation to do. There’s the obvious fundraising that needs to be done along with acquiring all the supplies and equipment I’ll need for the nine months I’ll be traveling. But there’s also spiritual preparation that needs to be done if I’m to do the work that God has planned for me fully and with excellence.
One of the main reasons I want to go on the World Race is to share with those who have never accepted or even heard the unfathomable love of God that I have been so blessed to experience. To best share the love of God and invite others into a relationship with Him I need to be in a good place in my own relationship with my Savior. My own relationship with God is not where it could or even should be.
Same as everyone, sin has played a big part in my past. And the past several months I’ve really struggled with choosing Jesus over my own sinful pleasures. There’s been ups and downs; victories and losses; despairs and joys. Looking back this struggle really has demolished a hidden layer of pride that I had. There have been moments where I thought I had it under control. But then once more my demons would slink back and pull me down. As soon as I lose my focus on the light the darkness has a way of gripping me. I am called to be a light in the darkness but how can I be a light when I let my inner demons enclose me in darkness?
A word that I’ve been thinking on for a few months now is grit. The 2nd and 3rd definitions are these: noun courage and resolve; strength of character. Verb clench (the teeth), especially in order to keep one’s resolve when faced with an unpleasant or painful duty. Grit as I see it is the perseverance; the resilience; the strength of character; the ability to face your fears and land back on two feet after life has flipped out from under your feet. Grit is the courage to grow even when things get way too uncomfortable. Grit is the strength of character to never settle for less; to never give up; to chase your dreams no matter the odds.
This screams what I want to be about throughout my life, especially when it comes to the sin that so easily entangles. It’s hard to see the struggle as anything but a losing battle. Ephesians 6:12 says, “For we are not fighting against flesh and blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in the dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.” How then can I fight against such enemies and keep myself pure?
More than once I’ve wondered why God made us so. What’s the point in fighting something that is so undeniably natural and seemingly un-winnable? But I’ve realized it’s not about winning. It’s the battle itself. It’s the struggle. It’s the daily test that drives me back to my need for Christ. That’s what the trials are for.
They make me tougher and harder both mentally and spiritually. With Christ by my side, the trials give me much more than I give them. In a way, I want to struggle. I want to dig in to the Lord and I want to push. I don’t want the trials to end. I don’t want to rest. And I don’t want to coast. I don’t want to reach a point in my life when I say, ‘that’s it. My relationship with God is good enough. I’ve done enough denying myself and enough giving myself away. I’m not gonna give anymore.’ NO. That’s not who I want to be.
The relentless cycle of day to day challenges; they are what drive me to Christ and build me up in Him. They inspire me to be more. They inspire me to deny myself and to give more of myself.
1 Peter 1:7a says, “Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure; genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine.” Only by keeping my eyes on Him can I win this war. Only then can I slay my own demons. Of course victory is what I want. But even then, it’s not about victory. It’s about being driven to God and staying with Him. When I am truly with Him I feel His love and my love for Him overflows; obedience will flow from that. I must learn to constantly be in a state of love with Him; obedience and purity will flow from that.
I am not a physical being. So it isn’t physical things that bring my soul (which is my very being) satisfaction or fulfillment. It is often those things that are most physically satisfying that bring my being no satisfaction whatsoever but actually destroy it. Our Lord knows that we are spiritual creatures and although his laws may go against our physical side they greatly benefit our true being. Psalm 19:7 says, “The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul.” Psalm 16:11 says, “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” I have found this to be true. When I deny my flesh and live according to His way my soul flourishes and I rebound with joy.
It isn’t easy though. My struggle with the flesh is far from over. I am longing for the day that the Lord beheads my inner demons of sin, and I never have to struggle again. But for as long as I live on this earth my sinful desire will never give up in finding ways to tempt me. It is as much a part of me as the part of me that craves a relationship with my Creator. With one very important difference. My sinful desire is because of the fall. It wasn’t by Christ’s design. My desire for Him is by His design. My sinful desire brings death and destruction. My desire for Him brings joy and life. My sinful desire will be abolished by Christ when I leave this world. My desire for Him will forever grow and forever fill me with His love.
We all have our demons. We all have a war that rages on inside of us that just doesn’t seem winnable. I know two things for sure. First, that battle is impossible without Christ. You will never be strong enough to get through it on your own. I need Him and so do you. And the second is this: Our God will never forsake us. He will never abandon us in our struggles. Turn to Him and He will lift you up.
So as Hebrews 12 says, let us all “lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”
For myself, the World Race is the next leg of the race that is set before me. It will take all manner of grit to both prepare and then complete that leg. I won’t do it on my own though. The Lord goes with me and before me. I will strive for Him all the days of my life so that I may be able to say at the end:
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. – 2 Timothy 4:7
