My great-grandma died on October 26, 2012, at the ripe old age of 93. I was heartbroken. Mama (that’s what we called my great-grandma) was one of the sweetest people I have ever had the privilege to know. She was a woman who knew no end of hugs, Jolly Ranchers, sugar water for hummingbirds, or studying her Bible.
Mama had suspected for several years that her time on this earth was nearing an end, so she had already started writing down which of her possessions would go to who. After the family had gone through her house looking for what now belonged to them, my Nana pulled me aside and told me that I was welcome to ask for whatever was left.
Being the bookworm that I am, I went strait to the little wooden cubby that held the few books that Mama had owned. I carefully flipped through pages of books that were far older than me, all the while loving the coarse feel of paper beneath my fingers and the musky smell that can only be attributed to old books. Mama hadn’t written down that I was to get anything specific, or so I thought.
I can’t remember if it was my Mom or my Nana who handed me the ceramic angel. The angel was maybe a foot tall. She had probably originally been some shade of terra cotta, but she had been white washed so that now only the barest tint of its true color showed. Her wings were outstretched while her face was tilted slightly upwards. She cradled a lyre in one arm and had the hem of her skirt clasped in her other hand. The angel had been in Mama’s living room for as long as I could remember, but it was one of those things that had been around for so long that you never really thought about it.
I didn’t understand why the angel was handed to me until I was told to turn it upside down. There on the bottom, written in Mama’s shaky handwriting, was one last little encouragement. Something that she knew wouldn’t be read until after her death.
I love you Erin. God loves you.
I felt an overwhelming sense of honor, humility, and love. I hadn’t expected to be given or written anything, and I hadn’t thought that I had wanted anything. Those two childishly simple and yet profoundly complex truths which she wrote down were what I needed to hear at that time. I will be forever grateful to Mama for that. That angel has been proudly displayed on my dresser ever since.
This is when things get a bit too crazy to be coincidental, at least by God’s standards. During the trip for Mama’s funeral, my family and I went to my Nana’s church. I’ve had some strange things happen to me at church, including a man pulling a spider out of my hair in the middle of service, but this ended up being one of the most special.
During the worship part of service, I felt someone from behind tap me. I brushed it off as an accident. I felt the tap once more and again assumed it was an accident. The third time I felt the tap I turned around wondering why in the world a stranger kept tapping me. I was greeted with the smiling face of a woman who looked to be around my Mom’s age if I had to guess.
The music was too loud for us to talk, so she grabbed my hand and pressed a slip of paper into it. I was extremely confused at that point. I had never met the woman before. What could she be giving me? Despite my confusion, I smiled and mouthed thank you before turning back around in my seat. I nearly cried when I read what she had written.
Continue to be a special child of God. He loves you no matter what.
The words Mama had written on the angel flashed through my mind. This woman had no idea who I was, and yet God used her and Mama to tell me that He loved me and that He will always be there for me.
The slip of paper is now kept in a special drawer where I can easily find it. I have looked at those two messages often since I was accepted into the Gap Year program. They remind me that I won’t face the challenges in this upcoming year alone because He loves me, and I love Him.
Tomorrow is Easter, the day we celebrate Jesus coming back to life after dying for our sins. Victory was won not only through blood but also love. Love was the reason God created mankind, love was why God let us choose between Him and sin, love was why He paid for our mistakes, and love is what we will see when He finally welcomes us into His kingdom. So please, don’t ever forget that God loves you.
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.
-1 Corinthians 13:4-8 ESV
