I’m going to be honest, I’ve avoided writing this blog. I don’t want to write any blog about my time in Malaysia for that matter. This past month has been one I simply cannot and wont forget. This place. These people. This time.
“Does God hate me?” A thought I had as I sat on the floor of the Hostel in Thailand. (I know, a touch dramatic) Our team had just finished our quiet time and it was announced that plans had changed. Instead of going to Penang Malaysia with another team for a month, which we had known for weeks, we were being relocated to Kuala Lumpur, the country’s capital. My mind was swimming, I was so angry inside. The team we were being stationed with originally contained my Squad besties who I didn’t want to leave. Penang’s costal city, a quaint town with beautiful architecture and so much to offer… or so I had been told. To make matters worse, I had been spending the past couple days (or weeks) making fun of the guys team for being placed in a giant city, not envying them in the least. Im going to give a spoiler alert now: God didn’t hate me, but boy was he about to humble me.
So that was that. Forty eight hours of travel, and four buses later, at approximately 2:00am we arrived in KL. The journey wasn’t over however, we were greeted by eighty five stairs that needed to be climbed simply to get to our hostel, at 2am, with our giant packs. A great first impression I must say. Our orientation started promptly at 7am where we ate “chicken noodle soup” for breakfast, and rushed from one place to another. Back at the hostel, I sat on the stained mattresses that act as our living room couch, along with my self pity. This month was going to suck.
I would like to say now, I’m honestly so ashamed of the way I approached this month, and this place. But if there is one thing I’ve learned through my experiences thus far, and especially the people here, is that there is grace. If I didn’t approach this time with disdain, I would never have learned to cast down judgement, and I can now walk in the confidence and joy that comes with new places, people, and experiences. I’m so abundantly grateful for that.
Our ministry this month has been working in a cafe called Eat X Dignity and its been one of the most anointed times I’ve ever been engrossed in. Its been my home away from home, and the people here have become like a family to me. There is an underlying joy and love that passes through this place. My time here has taught me how to live life on mission, Its not pushing the gospel in peoples face, but walking out in encouragement. We have permission as a church to encourage each other by simply being honest, even if its hard. That’s exactly what I’ve had here. I’m learning what it means to be a woman of God, what it means to grow up and step into responsibility. For so long I’ve seen such a thing as an impossible task, beyond my capability. But I’ve witnessed people who walk in honor, who persevere through immeasurably hard times, and put their trust completely in the lord. They lead by example, and I know I have the same capability to be as strong as them.
“If any human has done it, so can you.” -Moniza
things I will miss:
Our crazy hostel, and those ridiculous eighty five stairs. Our fire-alarm wrapped in a blanket and that I’m fairly confident is still going off. (Thanks Fadlin) The late night card games. Waking up early (or having Claire wake me up) and putting on my Eat X shirt. Wrapping silverware with Braiden in the morning, and having those much needed deep talks. Our weekly cheesecake indulgence. My many latte art attempt. Adam always leaving the receipts in a puddle of water Instead of the stake. Rohema being able to take a latte as a shot, and her hugs. Moniza asking if we’ve had our breakfast, then promptly feeding us. Also Moniza’s insane moments of wisdom and encouragement. Mahyar’s incessant mopping habits. The awful cafe music playlist. (Its just the worst.) Afternoon lunch rush hour, resulting in a 2:00 lunch. Michael’s lemonade order, and the faces he makes through the window. Johns baking, and strange sound effects. Richard. Just Richard, we’re best friends, (I know because he signed on it.) Auntie Yani saying good morning. Bilal showing up everywhere, and making any request a reality. Fadlin’s ridiculously hard to pronounce name, and contagious laugh. Our ultimate frisbee game in the rain, that Shaq claimed he’d win, but we tied so. The last minute events we catered. The random foreign famous people (and photographers). All of the food. The smiles. Finally, the laughter…so so much laughter.
That is just a small snippet of things, and barley paints a picture of what these people mean to me. All of these memories i wont soon forget, it is through all of this and more that proves that the lord loves me so much. I’m so grateful for the hard goodbyes, that pave the way for some beautiful new hellos. But boy do they still suck. I didn’t want to write this blog because I didn’t want to think about saying goodbye. This blog is my overflowing thanks to the people who have made this one of the best months of my life. To the people who have encouraged, loved, and changed me.
Saya sangat menyayangimu, jumpa lagi
Love,
Emma Joy Briner
