Our coaches Doug and Renee spoke a word over us at training camp and it has come up multiple times on the race. The word is Discovery. They said this year is going to be a year of discovery! Oh boy has it, and were only half way through!
Every Tuesday we do journey markers! I think I have told y’all about journey markers in another blog but a lil refresher is basically we read a passage and a teaching then answer questions as a group. This is a good time to collaborate with our team and be intimate with where we are. We answer questions and reflect upon the things stirring in our heart! Once a month we talk about 3 topics: Intimacy, Community and Mission. Here are some things I’ve learned so far on the race beginning with what I’ve discovered about these 3 topics!
- Intimacy
I have learned intimacy with the father is essential. Having that quality time with him should be a priority of my day and flow throughout my day. He longs to hear from me and reflect with me. He longs to be a part of every encounter and relationship around me. I’ve discovered that this intimate time with him starts at night. It begins with speaking to him about my day and planning how I will spend time with him the next morning. I’ve recognized how easily it is to wake up and want to continue sleeping or my mind is often wandering and running a mile a minute and I forget to include papa into my day. So it begins at night, when I plan to sit with the father in the morning and I follow through. And I follow through out of faith. Often times in the morning I wake up and I’m not too enthusiastic about reading my bible in the morning, especially because right now I’m reading through the Old Testament and I’m realizing the extent of the polar extremes of Gods wrath and mercy and how they go hand in hand. I’m realizing he does have the highest of expectations for us and he does get angry and disappointed when we choose not to follow him. Haha thank you Jesus for coming and bringing grace and showing your love for us even when we aren’t obedient to you!!
But anywho, reading my Bible is not always something I’m excited about in the morning. I have days where I’m like eh I have no desire to read this morning. On those days it takes faith, a faith that he will show me something I need to hear if I come to him expectant to hear. I am intentional with him even when it’s hard to be because I know his relationship is the most important to me and I need that time with him to hear from him. And to thank him for all he does for me. And to repent of the wrong doings I have done or the sins I have dwelled in from the day before. His grace and mercies are new every day and he wants to sit with us in a place of joy walking into a new day.
- Community
I have learned a whole lot about this one. I have discovered no one is the same- that’s for sure. I have discovered everyone has different qualities, characteristics and preferences. I walked into the race with a lawful heart, seeing people’s actions as right or wrong and trying to be the judge rather than letting the father. I have learned to sit in a place of patience and peace about those around me. I recognize God is the only one doing the growing and transforming of the hearts around me and my place is to walk alongside them. I cannot do anything in my power to recognize the brokenness and try to fix it. Only papa can do that. I have learned an endless amount of grace. I have learned to choose my team even when it’s hard to. I have to let them support me and love me as well! I’ve had to abandon my pride! That was a hard one to recognize but a good thing to allow the Lord to transform. He’s luckily been walking me through abandoning my pride patiently and softly. He is so kind to me even when he shouldn’t be haha. And he has shown me more of my identity in Christ and that the judgement I have had in moments is not my identity! And lastly, he has revealed to me how important my community is. That together we are a family, brothers and sisters. We are not to judge or brothers and sisters because they are our brothers and sisters. We need them because we are papas church. We are an army together and we want to extend our family. We need each other to do it. Each person has their own role and together we build an army that the enemy can not touch. Together we can welcome in new family members, building the kingdom even bigger! But the key is together, because we cannot build the kingdom up going out and fighting alone.
- Mission
Walking into the race I saw mission work as a profound act or service and the Lord has stripped away this expectation. He has given me growth in 3 things through my missionary experience: simplicity, humbleness and taking away entitlement.
I’ve recognized mission work is simple. It is purely through loving people. Through seeing people. Through enjoying people. Through honoring people regardless of their circumstances or journey in life. I’ve learned mission work can be done in the simplest of tasks and it doesn’t matter what you’re doing, how your helping or what profound things your experiencing. The tasks are quite simple and it’s all centered around just doing life with people. He has humbled me in amazing ways. He has shown me the relationship I have with the Lord or even the physical things I have, I should be grateful to have. He has blessed me in incredible ways with the country I live in and the opportunities I have in the US. We are able to talk about Jesus freely where as in other places people cannot. I have been blessed here with an amazing community, with adventure all around me if I humble myself to whatever that adventure looks like, and I have been blessed by the people who have provided money for me to be here. And lastly, I have recognized through this missional living that I have no entitlement over anything. The food, the bed I sleep in, the money I have; nothing is mine. Through all the change and unknowns of moving place to place or not knowing details about things right away I have discovered nothing belongs to me. Greed creeps in when I feel secure by the possessions around me and I’m not relying solely on the Lord. Jesus is enough. Missional living is this simply: relying on the Lord, abandoning the flesh and relying solely on Jesus. By walking this out is how the impact is made around me on the mission field.
Last couple things I have learned!!!
-I will make plenty of mistakes and that’s ok. Papa has had so much grace upon me and I am SO THANKFUL for that. But also, he does hold us to a high standard when he has revealing things to us and grown us in our faith. He identifies when I am being spiritually lazy and I don’t choose my father first. Luckily I simply turn back to him and he excepts me as I am with open arms.
-My future is totally in his hands!! I have a general idea of what I want to do next year but I know he will lead me and align my desires with his. As of right now the plan is to attend GCU. Papa was generous and left the college options open to my decision when I was stressing about it. He showed me that any option I chose he will grow me and use me and he can always take me somewhere else! So amazing. I think nursing is the path I’ll take at GCU. He’s given me skills to be a nurse and he has affirmed this in some radical ways. But I’m leaving my doors open because anything can change.
AND…. the cool realization I had yesterday is….
*drum roll please*
The first half of the race I have gained a stronger grasp on who I am as his daughter. How he is my father.
Now, for the second half he is going to walk me through how I am his bride. This is very interesting and kind of scary for me because I have no idea what he will teach me through this. I have honestly never pictured Jesus as a husband. So we will see how he takes me deeper in this!
Thanks for reading y’all. Hope something stuck out to you. Message me with any questions or prayers or whatever ya got. Love y’all!
