I am tired. I am lost. I am broken.
I have doubts and I wonder many things. Because of this I am left daily feeling confused and distant. I feel lost and broken because I question God’s truth almost everyday. I twist the words of God into the lies of the enemy and feel as if I’m not worthy. I’ve sinned and hurt others. I put on a smile everyday. What a hypocrite, right? I’m no greater than others. I’m dirty and broken. I have countless doubts that flow through my head everyday as I observe the many perspectives surrounding society. All it leaves me with is questions.
These questions can lead me to sad places… but there’s a hole that can never be filled as I sink down to the enemies level. A hole that yearns for light, a light of hope, peace and grace. Then I remember this: Doubt your doubts before you doubt God.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned this last year it’s this: IT’S OK NOT TO KNOW ALL THE ANSWERS (:
When these doubts rush into my mind the Lord tells me, “Take off those filthy clothes! You walk amongst the righteous! I have buried your sins. You are my child and I have given you a clean, white robe. Get back in the game!”
Through the love of the Lord I have gained joy in who I am and more importantly I’ve gained the armor to be a Kingdom Warrior against the enemy. I’ve practiced loving people the way God loves them even in their similar brokenness and that’s a gift greater than any other.
He has endless truth to give to those who only seek. He has given me so much and I can only go back to that when I question. I have a heart on fire for more and more of his love. And HALLELUJAH, I’m blessed to say he gives eyes of hope to the wanderers and rescues us in our doubts.
I have faith. I am free. I am fearless with him.
