I’ve came to the realization that theres a difference from saying, “Oh I’ve been to that country!” And actually BEING in that country experiencing the culture while seeing how blessed you truly are to be living in the United States. I’ve been in Costa Rica for two days. Being the minority never crossed my mind until suddenly the realization along with the anxiety that I don’t know how to speak any of the language hit. Communicating is so hard! A major difference from the U.S. is they don’t have any street names or house numbers. Everyone here legit gives directions based off of landmarks. I’m living in a place where I do not understand anyone when they speak nor can I read the majority of signs/writings. It’s one of the most draining experiences.
Our first full day here we were given a tour of the surrounding area around our base. (Praise the Lord we got put on a base!!) We hopped on the public bus and as I sat down I noticed a woman taking a picture of my remaining squad mates still waiting to get on. She immediately texted it off to a friend with a message I didn’t understand. The strangest feeling came over me. I wasn’t angry, but felt slightly violated and like our personal privacy was compromised. It made me feel vulnerable and the fact we stood out became even more apparent. It’s really the littlest of things that hit you that you would never think about.
Today was our first day of ministry. (Today being Sept. 14) My team has two different ministries while we are here. Our first ministry we are at a daycare for two hours and then from there we are picked up and taken to our next place. Our second ministry is working at a school in the slums for five hours a day. We have ministry Monday through Friday. We leave at nine and don’t get back home (back to the base) till 5:40ish. Right now as I type this its 9:35 pm and I’m exhausted and still hungry. We’ve only had one day of ministry. Its so hard to imagine what a week will feel like. Each morning we have to be up and ready for breakfast by 6:30 in the morning and then we have devotions at 7. Our breakfast consist of a small portion of cereal so that the whole squad is able to eat and our lunch will always be an apple, bag of potatoes chips, and a sandwich consisting of one slice of cheese and one slice of ham. Dinner is my favorite because its rice and beans with a different type of meat each night, but regardless I’m pretty much never full for very long sadly.
But I have to say I LOVE it here. In fact I feel like I’m thriving. I can’t wait to continue to grow in the Lord. I had to the craziest thing spoken over me yesterday. My mobilizer, Beth, had taken the time to pray over us and write a note of what the Holy Spirit had spoken to her. My note read, “ Comforted. You are comforted to be a vessel of comfort for others.” The crazy thing is I had just been meditating on how the Lord calls us to be a vessel for Him. The rest of it I wasn’t sure how it connected. Then later that night a pastor came to speak on the culture and give us a bit more training before our first day out. Before he left he had brought coffee and made pour overs to share. He only had so much so he only picked a handful of people. He then began looking at a couple of my squamates and speaking over them. I sat there praying I’d be chosen for the pour over coffee. It might sound silly, but I really wanted it. I was feeling homesickish and it reminds me of my community at home. Low and behold he picked me. Not only was I praying for coffee I prayed the Holy Spirit would choose to speak through Pastor Rennae to me. My heart was bursting when he chose me. As I went to the front I was grinning ear to ear. He went and handed me my cup and then paused looking at me and I could tell he was listening to something. The Holy Spirit was speaking to him. Then Pastor Rennae began to relay what the Lord had told him about me. I can’t remember it all word for word, but I wrote as much as I could remember.
“You have soft heart. You love others easily. You really care for others and are always looking for ways to serve them. You are in the right place. Sometimes you hold back on loving others because you’re afraid of their reaction or rejection. Don’t hold back on loving others.”
I was stunned. Two messages in the same day that were somewhat about the same thing. God is crazy cool in the way he speaks to us and over us. It’s given me so much more drive and purpose. I have so much to say and I know this is all over the place. Not the best constructed blog post ever haha. Please give me grace. I’m exhausted. The days go so fast, but so much happens with so many different emotions in a day that it could almost pass for a year. More to come though! Just wanted to give an update. Also, still fasting from my phone for a month. I’m using a teammates laptop at the moment. It’s only day two with no phone. So I have a bit;)
