Have you ever heard the phrase, “limped to the finish line?” That statement ironically describes the situation I find myself in at this point in my race. Let me describe to you the circumstances that prompts me to say that. I was playing basketball last week, and felt a sudden tightness in my lower back. I’ve dealt with lower back pain off and on for some time so I didn’t think too much of it. The pain lingered slightly throughout the week. I figured I had stretched out a muscle or something. Fast forward to Sunday night. I has just used the restroom, and was trying to get back to the living room. The pain in my back went from an uncomfortable inconvenience to shooting pain down my legs. I did my best to waddle my way into the living room, and realized that my legs and back weren’t going to allow me to stand anymore. With some help, I gingerly plopped myself onto a couch, and that’s where I stayed for the next 12 hours or so. Completely helpless. I was unable to stand up, or do anything that required any sort of movement from my back or lower body. Meals were brought to me, and my journeys to the bathroom should’ve been filmed. Long story short, I have had a rough few days. I am quite literally limping into the last few weeks of this trip. Now, the first part of this blog might sound a lot like self-pity. Please trust me, keep reading. There is a purpose behind what I just told you, and it’s not for your pity or mine.
The last two holidays that we have celebrated as a team, Easter and Mother’s day, I have been out of commission. For Easter, we threw a big celebration with the kids in Thailand, but I was chained to a squatty potty by a stomach bug. For Mother’s day, we surprised our ministry host Ruth (it’s her first year celebrating as a mother, herself) to a dinner, but I was at home on the couch because I was unable to stand up. In both situations, I couldn’t help but be disappointed in my body for failing me at such an unfortunate time. I questioned God’s purpose behind this. The answer I received from him, as usual, brought me to humility and a place of worship before my Heavenly Father.
I zoomed out, and looked at both instances, and noticed one thing: dependence. I was completely dependent on the people around me to provide my needs. That realization made me aware of how much more I depend on God for literally everything that allows me to continue to live on this planet. He blesses me with each breath. He oversees every heartbeat. Each passing second is another gift from our gracious God. He has given me the surpassing knowledge of the finished work of Christ. He has given me the Holy Spirit as evidence of my salvation. He has allowed me to partner with him in the work of making his unconditional love and never-ending grace known to every tribe, tongue, and nation on the earth. A bad back or some nausea suddenly becomes less of an issue.
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
A question that I’ve asked for a long time is, “Why would God pick such imperfect beings to carry and share the perfect Gospel?” In my mind, there is more obvious ways that he could do it. An all-powerful God could have a massive star proclaim the name of Jesus to every creature that lives on Earth in a single moment, but he chose…us. Why? The answer lies in 2 Corinthians 12, “…my power is made perfect in weakness.” The answer is GRACE! He could’ve chose anything, but he picked us. Not because we have what it takes, but because we have been given WHO it takes. He chose imperfect people like you and me to carry the message of Jesus Christ to show the depths of his grace for us. HIS GRACE IS SUFFICIENT. I hope you screamed that in your head. If you didn’t, go back. Read it again. Let it sink in. Don’t continue this blog without taking a second to meditate on that statement. Let that scripture wash over every aspect of your life. Let it cover any struggle or heartache that you may have. His grace covers the darkest corners of our lives. What a gift! What a God we serve!! That’s why Paul boasted in his weakness. That why we can boast in our weakness. It’s not about us. It never was. It has always been about the grace of God for the praise of his glory forever and ever, amen!!
“I may be weak but your Spirit’s strong in me
My flesh may fail but my God you never will.”
So I can boast in the fact that I’ve been a couch potato for 2 days because of a bum back. I can boast that I threw up 25 times in a single day, and have forever cursed squatty potties. I can boast in my shortcomings. In my failures. In all my weaknesses, I choose to boast. My flesh is finite, bound to fail. My body wasn’t meant to last for eternity, and sometimes it’s going to miss the mark. But I have faith that God can use this imperfect body, healthy or not, for his purpose, for his glory, until he deems my work on this world complete. It is in my weakness that Christ’s power rests on me. His grace is sufficient for me. It is when I am weak that I am made strong. It is in my weakness that he receives glory. And that is the goal:
“Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” -1 Corinthians 10:31
