Around a year ago the Lord asked me to go on the World Race. He told me this is what He has for me if I was willing to step into my calling. He said if I go I would be leading in vulnerability. So, I went not because He promised me that, but because I wanted to. I wanted to step into my calling. He was true to His promises too. He put me in the position of leading through transparency on my squad.
The Lord has given me a gift of vulnerability. Ironically, what God uses Satan uses also. My biggest struggle is also my biggest gift. God has given me this gift of vulnerability and transparency to connect with others on a deeper level. It’s been amazing to see how this gift has changed other’s lives. God has used it to provide so much freedom in me, my team, and my squad. The best part about it is that it’s not me, it’s God. God is using me, a sinner; someone who isn’t put together to advance His kingdom. He has equipped me because I’ve decided to take a step of faith and walk in my calling.
I wasn’t always like that though. It’s funny how the Lord works. Our God is a master in the business of calling things that aren’t as they are, transforming, and restoring. I wasn’t one to share my testimony, encourage others, sing in front of a group of people, speak, or even express my struggles. That was never me, but now it is. God spoke and declared things over me. He revealed the unseen to be seen. He transformed me from the inside out. He has graciously equipped me with so much! Sure I still have much to work on, but I can tell you this: I’m changed!
Satan constantly tries to tell me that I’m still the girl I was years ago. I’m here to tell you that is the dumbest lie I’ve ever heard because it’s not true. I’m not that girl anymore. I’m not that rebellious teenager anymore. I’m not that one to stress out or worry about everything anymore. That’s not what my identity is found in. That was the old Courtney. God transformed my heart and swung the doors wide open for me to walk in freedom. The coolest thing is that others have seen God transform my heart as well. My family has seen the Lord’s working hands on my life which has been a testimony of God’s goodness. My squadmates are touched by the transparent God fearing woman that I have become on this race. Countless people have been impacted by my testimony these past nine months. God has used this gift to change me, others, and to bring kingdom.
So why do I tell you this? It’s simple. I share this because I’m changed from the love of Jesus. This is a testimony of God’s goodness worthy of sharing so that it can give others hope.
We, Americans, always have this expectation of being enough, put together, and equipped for things in life. That’s not realistic though. The good news is that God doesn’t call us to be put together or equipped. We can try to be equipped all we want on our own, but it won’t go anywhere. We can try to do everything right, but we will eventually make a mistake.
The bottom line is that we don’t have to be perfect for God. God is already perfect so why should we try to be perfect too? It’s ok to make mistakes. It’s more beautiful to be a broken person in need of a Savior because then we get to experience genuine love, grace, and mercy.
Friends, God doesn’t call the equipped, He equips the called. God doesn’t call you into His plan because you DO have it altogether. He calls you because you DON’T. Through our imperfections He makes a masterpiece. When we choose to lay down our weaknesses then we can walk in our calling and accept His gifts. He wants to equip us with good gifts freely because He loves us. He wants to use us, imperfections and all. We don’t have to buy His love or be good enough for Him. We just have to be. We just have to be willing to accept good blessings from a good father.
I wasn’t equipped to go on this race, do His work, or make the right choices. And I definitely don’t have it altogether, but that doesn’t matter. All that matters is that I’ve come to Him willing with open arms. I was willing to accept His call and because of that He equipped me with vulnerability and perspective. When I started to walk out in my calling I experienced freedom. When I say ‘yes’ to God He chose to use me. This God fearing woman is not me friends. Well, it is. It’s the new Courtney in Christ, but He gets all the credit.
The question that remains is: Are you walking out in your calling and accepting His gifts or are you trying to have it altogether? Where is your priority? Is your priority the call or the qualifications? Are you willing to take the risk of accepting your imperfections to live a life of freedom and opening good gifts? The choice is up to you.
Have hope in this one thing though: God doesn’t call the equipped, He equips the called. He wants to equip you if you let Him.
Matthew 9:13
“Go and learn what this means: I desire mercy and not sacrifice. For I didn’t come to call the righteous, but the sinners.”
