“Let the seasons change” – Laura Fickin
I received a leaf with this written on it during my month in Cyprus. My entire month in Cyprus my prayer was that I would be moldable clay in the Potter’s hand so receiving this leaf, I thought okay just more of being moldable. A few days/a week after receiving that, I am called and asked to no longer be treasurer for my team and instead step into being a tam leader for my team. I was honored and overwhelmed. Fierce Five has an amazing leader with Carla but leadership wanted to provide a month of rest for our team leaders.
As we landed in Lebanon responsibilities were transferred over to me. We make it to our hostel and get settled in and if I am honest, I cried myself to sleep. How do I lead this wonderful team that has already had this bomb leader? How do I figure out the transfer of treasurer, which I had been growing really comfortable in, to know not knowing the finances for my team? How in the world would I comfortably shower in that bathroom that smells as if it was last cleaned in 362bc? (It was actually cleaned everyday, just never could get rid of that smell)
So tears…a lot of tears…
My month in Lebanon as team leader was challenging in great ways. I learned deeper levels of the Father’s heart and deeper levels of my identity in Him; I also listened to some hard lies and let them become my truths for far too long. I fought hard not to fail my team and then in the end I did fail them in ways because I am human. I had to forgive myself for how I was in leadership positions before and how I was not Christ like to those who I was trusted with. My month was hard, I wish I could say it was only that one night that I cried myself to sleep but that would be a lie. As hard as some of the times where, there were even happier times. I got to see my fierce five team in a different way and felt even more grace and love for them than I had the whole time we had been together. We loved a lot and we fought for one another hard. I said to myself, “Don’t worry Cort by week four you will have this done. Just in time for a new change.” I don’t even know if the week had fully played out yet before the season changed. I met with one of my alumni squad leaders for some Lebanese pizza, and long story short, leadership asks me no longer be a team leader and instead step into the role of being a squad leader. I did not cry myself to sleep that night but I did cry in the moment.
What this means is that I get to visit the different teams on the field and intentionally connect and pour into each person to help them on this transformational journey. The setup may look different each month, but we get the privilege of helping create and facilitate the cultural environment for our squad and run future debriefs. My team is made up of some AMAZNG women that include, Talia, Emily, and Landry. What an honor it is to be trusted with the Father’s children. I am excited for this season and am already getting to visit my first team just in time for the Holidays.
Please continue to pray for my team and squad as there have been several changes in our teams and possible even routes that will change. Please pray that I would be humble and serve my squad and team in this role.
