If you had asked me what I did on June 24, 2018, I could look back at my calendar and tell you in great detail what I did that particular day. My calendar was my greatest possession. I felt lost without my calendar in hand. Buying a new calendar brought me almost as much joy as planning out my schedule for the next week. I adored finding a calendar that suited me and then documenting what my life looked like each day.
I come by a love of calendars honestly. My mom has a calendar with each day filled for what each member of my family did that day. If you wanted to know what day my 3rd grade field trip was and where I went, she could rummage through her calendars from over the years and tell you just that. We share the same weakness, we are planners who thrive off of organization and structure. Somehow, we nicknamed my mom’s calendar the monkey. She relies on her monkey, and in recent years, I’ve begun to rely on my own monkey.
The day I left for training camp, I packed frantically. I attempted to pack everything I could possibly need for three months into one bag. While I was scanning my room for any last minute needs, I locked my eyes on my monkey. For a moment I thought I needed it, and I wouldn’t be able to function without it, but something told me to leave it at home. So I left my monkey at home. I hoped I wouldn’t need it and that I would somehow be able to document what happened each day. Thankfully at training camp, they had a schedule laid out for everyone. I knew what time we had worship, when lunch was, and when team time was. During our travel days, I knew where I was sitting on the plane, when our flight left, and how long it would take to get from point A to point B. However, when we finally arrived in Cambodia at our host’s house, I found a severe lack of structure.
There wasn’t any monkey for us to follow every day aside from teaching English at 2:00 and 6:30. The rest of our days were open. We could choose what we wanted to accomplish each day. If I wanted to sit and read a book for an hour, I could. If I wanted to go to the local orphanage and play soccer with the kids, I could. I could go to the store, go for a bike ride, call friends and family, take a shower, help pick up trash, or spend alone time with God. Here in Cambodia, I have endless options of what I want to do with my time.
At training camp, we addressed the process of abandonment. We leave something behind, whether that be electronics, clothes, or comfort. Part of my abandonment process is leaving behind my monkey and trusting in God’s monkey. I’m being reminded of the good truth that God’s plan is much greater than anything I could ever imagine. In my original monkey, I would’ve gone to college for 4 consecutive years and then began my job. But God’s plan is greater. His monkey has led me down a path that is unclear and challenging, but worth it. His plan is forcing me to give up what control I thought I had for my life and fully turn it over to the Lord. If my monkey and God’s monkey don’t match up, then I will not pursue the plans I created.
Life in Cambodia is radically changing me and I’m so grateful to finally be here. I am loving teaching English to children and teens. I am loving the simplicity of life. I am loving my team and how they deeply care about each other. Thank you for your continued support and prayers!
