Everyone says that social media is the highlight reel of someone’s life. You know, the days you actually take a shower, and you just want the world to see that you don’t have a messy bun on top of your head every day of your life (or if the high bun isn’t for you, maybe the founding father low ponytail). Whatever your “fancy” hair-style of choice may be, the pressure to “show off” your life is a growing theme in our world today, and not just for millennials. And to be completely honest, that pressure somehow feels heightened living around the world, when literally hundreds of people are investing money, prayers, support, and emotion into my life this year.
All of that being said, I ate a freaking lot of Pad Thai last month in Thailand ya’ll. I would go into lunchtime every single day thinking, “I’m going to try something different today!”… only to find myself shoveling Pad Thai into my mouth 5 minutes later, but hey it was from a different vendor. I have an aggressive amount of photos with Pad Thai, but like… it was delicious, every single time.
All of THAT being said, I often felt myself in an internal battle thinking.. “do people think I’m DOING enough? Am *I* making a big enough impact this month to be worth people’s investment? I need to post SOMETHING to prove to people that I’m not just a glorified religious voluntourist!” And maybe you’re reading this right now actually thinking some of those very things: “I invested in this girl, and all she’s doing is eating and posting sweaty pictures of herself with elephants and temples.”
ALL of THAT being said, Thailand was about letting go of what it “looks” like to be a missionary, aka follower of Jesus in a place where you have air conditioning and Pad Thai and wine and new friendships with people from all over the world. Ministry is life, and life is ministry. That means that unless Jesus calls me to it, I actually might not be singing Father Abraham with a room full of orphans every single day of my life. I might not be taking bucket showers or wearing an African print floor-length skirt, but that doesn’t somehow make me less of a missionary. We are ALL called to be a missionary (see Matthew 28:19-20), I just happen to be spending that calling abroad this year. Most of our days may be spent doing “regular life things”… work, laundry, grocery shopping, going to the gym; but we all have been given gifts and influence to be used by Jesus. The question is, how will you steward your influence?
To look at this practically, take my grandma Lois! She has a contagious love and heart for Jesus and his people, but has physical limitations due to rheumatoid arthritis. Does she let this steal her joy and influence? No! She constantly spreads Jesus’ love, and uses her gifts and talents regardless of her circumstances. Just one example of this is how she spends time each month correcting the Bible study tests of prisoners from all over the US. Even though she would jump on the first plane to preach the gospel and love on people literally anywhere in the world, she CHOOSES to look outside of her own pain, what some might see as limitation, to extend the love of Jesus. Though she has every entitlement to make excuses or sit in self-pity, she CHOOSES to trust that God is sovereign, and to embrace who Jesus puts in front of her to love. And to be honest, she LIVES and LOVES more than most people I know with joints that aren’t in constant pain. The ground is level at the foot of the cross people, and though your ministry right now might look like being the best mom you can be to your sassy as heck toddler, you are enough, and you are being a missionary.
Not only was Thailand incredibly adventurous, delicious, and spontaneous, but I also learned that people are FRIENDS, not projects. We had a blast loving on some precious little kids at an orphanage, and we also spent some time with several homeless families, but the majority of our days were spent asking Jesus what he wanted us to do that day and who he wanted us to love on. Sometimes that meant going to a coffee shop and making friends with someone there, blasting water guns with your new friends at Songkran (Thai New Year), going to the same mango sticky rice vendor every day to form a relationship, or even just talking to people at a nearby hostel over a drink. And when we did make those relationships with people, we didn’t have it in our minds that we had to shove the gospel down their throat or else our “job” wasn’t done, we were simply just focused on loving them. Don’t make people a task to check off.. commit to love them without expectations or some kind of project in mind.
Live your life with the INTENTION to love people on purpose. You don’t need to schedule some kind of outreach crusade to be the hands and feet of Jesus. Sometimes people just need someone who cares, and sometimes people just need a fresh voice in their life to renew something inside of them. It was St. Francis of Assisi who said that we are to “preach the gospel at all times. When necessary, use words.” Don’t get me wrong, TELLING people about Jesus is important– preaching the gospel is GOOD. But sometimes planting seeds really is just taking the time to genuinely listen to a backpacker on a solo quest to find meaning and purpose. Life can distracting, busy, and stressful, but to be honest, you are not entitled to time. Time is God’s, it’s HIS time that He is giving me– be interrupt-able, be intentional, start SEEING people. Whether you’re on a mission trip or processing a loan at Movement Mortgage (I see you fam!), don’t lose sight of what is really important.
Ministry is life. I don’t have to post a picture of every person I smile at just so other people feel like their support and investment is worth it or so that other people recognize that I’m living a life of purpose, in America or abroad. Besides, people didn’t invest in ME this year, they invested in JESUS and what HE has planned. All I know is that Jesus called me to this trip for this year for such a time and place as this… and I’m just the messenger ya’ll. Maybe I post on Instagram or Facebook, maybe I don’t, but I’m just focusing on not being so concerned with finding something to DO for God so others can see. I’m just learning to let Him love me and to let that love flow out to other people every day.
Sooo. That’s that. I may be in Malaysia, but there’s a Pad Thai stand right down the street that’s calling my name right now so I’m going to wrap this up. As always, thank you so much for your love, support, and investment– I am constantly in awe of the love I feel from people, even halfway around the world.
