Fearless. A word my mother often uses to describe me. A word, that, according to Dictionary.com, means: without fear; bold or brave; intrepid. A word, I would not use to describe myself, even in the slightest. You see, when I think of fearless, I think of people who have done amazing things like climb Mount Everest or competed in the Olympics. When I think of me, I think of a young girl who fears being alone or making mistakes. I think of a girl who fears she will disappoint those who care about her, or that she will, once again, be hurt emotionally. But most of all, I think of a girl who fears she will fail God.
Now, I understand we all fail God on a daily basis (all thanks to that freaking serpent oh so long ago). And, even though sinning is extremely discouraging, I know it is an inevitable part of life and I just have to do my best to follow God’s way and ask for grace when I screw up. No, the reason I say I fear to fail God is because I worry I will not answer Him when He calls me into stretching situations.
For instance, the other day during youth group, I felt God calling me to reach out and touch a young girl’s shoulder next to me who seemed to be struggling with the discussion of the specific topic we were discussing that night. All I had to do was reach over and show the girl she was not alone, yet for some reason, I could not get myself to do it. I went home that night feeling convicted and defeated. I thought to myself, “If I cannot even follow a simple direction of comforting a thirteen-year-old, how the heck am I supposed to follow God’s voice when He calls me to do something that is actually difficult?” My fear of failing took over my brain the next few days and it was all I could think about.
Then, as I was listening to the song “Seasons” by Hillsong Worship for the 180th time, a section of the song stood out to me that released me from that fear and discouragement that had been holding onto me. The song says, “Like a seed in the snow/ I’ve been buried to grow/
For Your promise is loyal/ From seed to Sequoia”. See, God is growing each and every one of us into the person He wants us to be. We are continually being given chances to become the men and women He is calling us to be and in order for us to get there, we have to fail. Failing is a good thing, it allows people to get up and try for a better result.
So, to wrap this all up, I have come to the realization that failing should not be something that is feared but something that is expected. Even if we feel fearful about completing a task God ask’s of us, we should respond with fearlessness.
