(LONG sappy post warning) That being said, please keep reading because I promise you won’t finish this post without seeing at least a sliver of the Lord’s goodness.
Starting from the top.
When I signed up for the World Race Gap Year I was excited for the journey!!! not that I knew what the journey would be like WHATSOEVER. I figured that since God called me to it, I would love it and get to impact people through it. Little did I know that God is a prankster, he had a lot to teach ME.
The concept of the World Race was solely a concept until July 10th, 2018. Over the course of ten days, that sometimes flew by and sometimes felt like they would never end, the Father wrecked me in the most beautiful way. Growing up I always prayed the prayer “break my heart for what breaks yours”, mostly because it sounded super cool and spiritual. Not until this week did I understand what it takes to feel the hurt Jesus feels. THE GOD OF EVERYTHING cares for the individual, when ONE of his children turns their back on him he leaves the other NINETY-NINE to chase after the ONE. If we actually want our hearts to break every time that happens, we are asking for A LOT of pain. But here’s the thing friends, God knows that humans can’t handle all of his emotions. He doesn’t want us to. He’s big enough, and strong enough to carry all of that for us. that’s GOOD news.
During worship, he gave the words to a friend of mine: “It’s my job to save them, not yours”.
He wants us to be VESSELS of him, its naive to think we can save those who ultimately need a savior.
Something I learned through this is, as people we like to doubt God without even realizing it. “I have to save this person”, “I have to raise this money”, “I need to take control of this situation”. How DARE we feel like we can run our lives better than Jesus can. GUESS WHAT. YOU don’t have to do any of those things you just have to BeLiEvE that HE will. Trust him. It’s easier said than done, but as soon as you can grasp the concept a whole weight that was never meant to be yours, is immediately lifted off of you.
So Trust, a big thing Papa taught me.
Once we learn to have faith in his plan, we need to learn to never be satisfied, never have enough of his goodness, always yearning for more.
Training camp left me HUNGRY. Yes, a little bit literally. (those are some small portions) hahaha.
But in all seriousness, it’s easy to think that if you are leaving your life for 9 months to go on a mission trip, that you’re filled enough with God right? WRONG. You can never have enough. You can never know every single one of his characteristics, you will NEVER get bored with Jesus, he’s always throwing curve balls. (trust me)
Every day we would sit through at least 4 sessions, probably in total around 25 or 30. Sounds not so fun right? wrong again. I was Constantly learning more, hearing things I’d never heard, studying parts of the bible I had never seen.
In order to keep stamina in my journey I have to have a hunger for him. Hes given me eyes to see him and ears to hear him.
I came to a harsh realization, things aren’t always gonna be easy and fun, we aren’t always gonna feel like we made an impact, it’s possible we will wind up in places where we can’t even say the name Jesus. But as long as we are still searching and stand firm in his goodness we will KNOW that we are doing good works. Something that was hard to hear is that we may never see the fruit of our work, we may not witness people come to Jesus or be physically healed, but we are planting SEEDS. As long as we never become content we will continue to search for him in the most unexpected places, and we will find him because he is faithful to his children.
Let’s recap: Trust him and be hungry for him. seems easy enough..
Here I am thinking I’ve been doing that for at least 12 years of my life, in reality I loved him and I knew he loved me but I wasn’t walking in everything his Love had for me.
I realized this on about the 7th day when I heard they were doing baptisms on the last night, something (the Holy Spirit) in me came alive and I knew it was time. Years past, I would have said I will walk with Jesus every day for the rest of my life and I would have kept my distance following a good ways behind him. On July 19th, 2018 I made the decision to walk in step with My king for the rest of my days.
So many people helped me to make this decision, but one person in particular, who does’t realize how much she impacted me taught me that Jesus truly is a CHAIN BREAKER. Bennie (Abby) Evaniuk is fresh off the World Race Gap Year. Boy oh boy does the fathers love shine through her. The strength in this girl is incredible and her faith in the Lord through it all is truly amazing. Bennie is a serious testament that Jesus cares for his children. You can see the Holy Spirit in her by just looking at her smile. She loved me so well just by being her playful self. When it came to my decision, I couldn’t imagine her not being by my side. (go read her blog if you want further proof that the Lord is faithful and good to those who love Him.
Here’s some pictures from the most joyful time of my life!!
Jesus taught me a lot about trust this week but he also taught me that it’s gonna take a lot of work and dedication from me to get the money he’s going to provide!! That being said, If you felt the Holy Spirit through this post, you relate to needing to trust more, this made you smile, or you feel called for any reason please don’t hesitate to click the donate button!! AND please pray for my squad whether you donate or not!! (these are 47 EARTH SHAKERS) Thank you so much for your unending patience and faithfulness through this journey! ALL THE LOVE. Brooke-Anne.
You’re a Good, Good Father
It’s who you are,
And I’m loved by you
It’s who I am.
