Today would have been my 6 year work anniversary at my former job.
Instead of working during the holiday season this year, I am in Honduras following God’s call for my life, and to be honest I couldn’t be happier on so many levels especially on the aspect of feeling like I am being leader which I feel like I am a leader on this squad & my team even tho I lead by a quiet example, and that was something that my former job didn’t aknowledge in any way, but here people have done that.
Ok enough of that, here is an update about my life here in Honduras & all squad month:
I am not gonna lie, this month has been one of the hardest months yet, and its only month 2. I can feel myself being pulled in a different way then I have ever felt before, and part of it I have no clue why yet, but I hope that it will be part of what I am seeking while on this journey, and that is to not only grow my faith but also to find out what God wants me to do with the rest of my life, and so far he has shown me a few directions that he might take me as far as that goes- so to all my prayer warriors out there please pray for that on my behalf.
I can say tho that God has shown me both freedom that I have also never felt before, and I can also feel that he is teaching much about patience as well, which part of that is by the fact that I am living in a house with 36 other people, so yeah def a teaching moment from God.
On that note, I am struggling so bad with the fact that I’m living with 36 other people in the Alpha Omega sorority house. I feel like there is no where for me to go to try to get away from people when I need my alone time that I need in order to function which is wearing me down to the point that I have broken down, and also the fact that it seems like a good portion of the squad is sick with something, and I am trying very hard to avoid getting sick at all costs. I feel really bad for our health & safety coordinator (Kaitlin) for all she has had to deal with this month, but she is taking it like the champ she is, as its not an easy job and I love her for it (also once again I’m saying this as not only because I care about her as one of my teammates, but I also consider her one of my friends on the squad, soif any of my prayer warriors out there could shoot a prayer in her direction, I know that she would be apprecaitive of that.)
I know that all of these negetive feelings that I have been experiencing this month so far is due to Satan, and his attempt at attacking me with spiritual warfare in a variety of ways. I have been getting inside my head alot and questioning why I am even here, and do my team/squadmates really like me as well he has also been attacking me with thoughts about the fact that I miss my best friend, and other thoughts of home, and feeling guilty about not being with my parents for Thanksgiving, which I know he is doing that to try to make me quit the Race. But I am in it for the long haul, and I am NOT gonna let him take me down for I know that I am a daughter of God, and with his help I can take him down. This was something that I realized during one of my few quiet times that I have actually been able to have this month.
Overall my health is good, and prayers that it says that way the rest of the month & beyond.
It also doesn’t help the fact that our ministry this month also breaks my heart. To be continued
