Ok odd title I know, but keep reading……..
As I said in a earlier post, I was baptized into the Presbyterian Church at 2 months old, and I was raised by those Christian vows in which my parents instilled in me.
Flash forward 32 years later and me sitting on the dining patio steps at 11 at night, looking up at the stars, and listening for God while listening to the Shana Twain song “Man I feel like a Women” playing on my phone while reflecting on all that had happened to me that day during Women’s day at training camp (all the men were off hiking the App Trail for their man hike while us gals remained at camp.) While I was sitting there I felt God telling me to recommit my life to him as he said that this was the beginning of a new season for me, and the way to do that was by getting baptized again as an adult. Now to be fully honest I have always wanted to get re baptized as an adult but never had the means to until training camp, and even then I doubted myself about was I doing this for the right reasons, but it was during that afternoon session reflection session where the speaker talked about letting go of our past and forgiveness/starting fresh.
After she dismissed us to go and spend some alone time, which was about 2.5 hours thinking, praying writing in our journal or whatever we felt comfortable doing. So I headed out to the dining patio, and sat along the bannister wall on the top level, and I started to write in my journal, which before training camp, I never really did that as I never like it was worth it to write down what I was feelings or my prayers and such, but nothing was coming to me to write down so I closed my journal and laid down on my back, closed my eyes, prayed and just listened to see if God would speak to me (I may or may have also fallen asleep during this as well).
After some time, God did revel to me what he wanted me to see, and that was to recommit back to him my life before leaving to go on the World Race. He brought up my “Dark time” which was the 3 and a half years that I spent unemployed, and just close I was from ending my life since I had reached my breaking point, and felt like maybe the World and those that I loved would be better off without me (BIG LIE RIGHT THERE), and lucky for me I still had that ounce of faith left in me, and in the end that was what saved my life, and I’m so thankful for that faith. God also showed me that I had indeed recovered my faith and he also pointed out to me just how much my faith had grown from then til now especially in the past 2 years by putting 2 very special people in my life (Danielle & Andrea) that helped to put me back on that path to him, and ultimately led me to the World Race to fulfill that promise I made to him back when I was 17, he also showed me to accept my true identity.
Once I realized this, it broke me right then and there, and it was amazing for I felt like a weight had been lifted off of me. Later that night as I was sitting on that step, God told me to get baptized again, and to recommit my life to him once again only this time it was on my terms.
Later that week, I went up and talked to Madie (Our squad mentor) and asked her if she would do the honor of baptizing me, and she said yes, and was thrilled to have been asked. I also wanted to keep it a secret from the rest of my squad as well.
Friday August 17th 2018- that was the day that I recommitted my life to Christ by means of Baptism. Before I got baptized Madie told me that God had spoken to her, and reaffirmed to her that God saw me, and that I was indeed a child of him, and this was also an answer to one of my prayers as I had questioned at times if God really heard me as I am silent in my prayers. After Madie dunked me, I pumped my fist in the air for I felt a sense of freedom from everything that was negative, freedom from doubt, guilt, shame and I finally was able to be at peace with who I am, and free from my past. BEST.FEELING.EVER.
This is also now part of my testimony as well.
Watch the video below
Til next time your fellow sister in Christ,
Bonnie
P Squad aka Freedom Fighters & August 2018 Squad Wars Champions
Team Surrendered
Psalms 18:2
YOLO
GO BLUE! (GO GREEN)
(if you wanna know more about the 2 people I mentioned- read my blog about BSF & Proverbs 27:17)
