You know those moods where you just feel very off. You’re not sure what’s going on..all you know is you are not okay. That pretty much summarizes how I was feeling coming into Thailand. I was living just being jealous of what other peoples lives looked like and not enjoying where I was or who I was with, and I was so tired of feeling like that. So I had to learn to daily give it to the Lord. I would ask for Papa to give me a heart for this place and these people. I wanted to do so much more than just tolerate the days. I wanted to embrace it all and be so full of joy even in the smallest (and what may have seemed insignificant) times. And guess what. The Lord freaking did that. After weeks and weeks of praying over this I just woke up one morning and was simply thankful. I saw and heard things differently because I had a different perspective. Instead of having glasses of jealousy and comparison I looked at things from a heart of thankfulness, and let me tell you it changed absolutely everything. It made me realize how I wasn’t only letting my emotions control me, but also as I idolized other people’s lives it wouldn’t have mattered if I was in the absolute worst or best time of my life I would’ve been unhappy. Idolizing others’ lives just made me want what I didn’t have. So…finally after being on the race for seven months I realised how intentional I have to be to choose thankfulness. Maybe for you it’s a different story where thankfulness comes easily, and there are other struggles that are more prominent in your daily life with Jesus and friends. Either way I don’t think that we can ever be thankful enough. So asking the Lord to give me a thankful heart for who i’m with and where my feet are is something that I not only want to do but have to do daily. To try to keep myself accountable, everyday for the next week i’m going to write a list of three things I am thankful for from the day. I’m excited to see how my mindset will continue to change more and more (even in the slightest way) from small acts of intentionality like this!
