I feel like the World Race seems to get romanticized because we tend to only hear the stories of how God moves in such cool and insane ways. I love posting the pictures of the cool adventure days we get but I always tend to want to avoid talking about what i’m struggling with. It doesn’t even have to be this huge situation it can just be a minor annoyance and i’ll want to avoid it. So obviously today as I was sitting asking the Lord what I should write a blog about with no hesitation He said “What you’re struggling with”. Funny how He does that right. Well immediately my reaction was coming up with a list of things to write a blog about other than what I am struggling with right now so I could avoid it. I had just had one of those nights where I realized how much more time I needed to spend with the Lord than I had been, and how I actually needed to address difficulties I was having in my spiritual and emotional life. I realized all this after projecting everything on some of the people around me. As you can imagine it was not pretty. That night I finally took the time to stop allowing my F.O.M.O. to control me and just went to go sit alone with Jesus. A little background: we had just gotten back from debrief and I was just having a really difficult time. I saw the Lord so easily in Jaco. I spent all day with the Lord and friends, got to worship every night, and start building more of a relationship with those around me. I was getting to live right beside a gorgeous beach, with beautiful skies, and go surfing multiple times (which if you know me, you know that’s the dream life for me). So coming home I honestly felt guilty that I wasn’t excited to do our routine ministry and get back to real life. But as I sat on my little porch outside with Jesus He started helping me understand. After a couple weeks of being here I hadn’t been looking for Jesus in this place. I stopped listening intently for Him. I quit letting His thoughts be heard over my own. Realizing this is not easy ya know. I am literally on the World Race right now, it’s nine months where you constantly have the time to seek the Lord and His presence and voice. So what’s going on then? What’s the difference between Jaco and San Jose? Why was it so easy to see and hear the Lord there and not here? It’s not the beautiful views and being part of His creation. Our backyard has a breathtaking view of a mountain surrounded by trees and the city. So. what. is. going. on?? In Jaco when I was surfing I said this is the happiest i’ve been in such a long time. That day it was storming and I was getting hit by tons of wind and water, there were even full size tree trunks floating through the water, and the Lord stopped me and said “Avery this is what it looks like to abide in me, you’re constantly getting hit from every direction by different things but it doesn’t stop you from being filled with joy.” I see and hear the Lord the most through worship and being in His creation, add that in with my love of surfing and the beach and this is just all the things I enjoy wrapped into one. Jesus started showing me that yes He has created me to be passionate about these things for a reason but that doesn’t mean it’s all I will be called to. At debrief I got to be with the Lord while doing all the things that I love and thrive on. But back home since the teen ministry has kind of fizzled out and i’m with the kids most times it’s difficult. I have somehow managed to believe that if I don’t enjoy it the Lord isn’t in it. Reading that I know you’re probably thinking “oh girl you have a lot of growing to do” and you’re 100% right! I don’t know how I could ignore or forget the truth that God is good and has created all that is good but good does not mean easy. This ministry is good, and exactly what I have been called to. The race is good, and exactly what I have been called to. But that does not mean that it is easy. It isn’t always going to be easy but the Lord is still majorly working through them and are places where growth happens. San Jose may not be my specific dream ministry or what comes to mind when I think about what I am passionate about. But I came on the race because I wanted to turn my passion for Jesus into action for Jesus. As you may be able to tell I started struggling to say yes to what God was calling me to daily. But here’s the beautiful thing. He walks us through struggles and helps us learn not only how to make it through but how to look more like Him as we come out of it. I’d love prayers about this, and if there is anything you need prayer for let me know!!
