My oh my. I can’t believe training camp finished over a month ago and I still haven’t shared the incredible things that happened there (I’ll blame the new classes that started while I was gone). I got back on a huge spiritual high and I felt ready to conquer the world. I only spent 10 days at training camp, but I walked away changed, energized, and empowered. If 10 days could do so much, I cannot wait to see what 11 months on the race will bring! There are so many things I want to share with you about God, myself and my squad mates. That’s why I am breaking this up into 3 parts! Today I am writing about the things I learned about my spiritual journey and who God is.
Physical Healing
First, God did so much healing! Both emotionally and physically in incredible ways! Before attending training camp my bad knee started acting up for a couple weeks. It has hurt for a few days at a time a couple of times a year since 2012. The past 2 years it has hurt for much longer stretches of time. This time it had been hurting for over a solid month and I was wearing a brace every day. Some prayer warriors and I were praying for a miraculous healing. I was highly concerned about our upcoming fitness hike, but God had an answer on the way. One evening we had a healing night with all the squads. There was relief from migraines, healed feet, muscles, and faith. My squad mates prayed for my knee. Repeatedly. Sometimes it takes more than once, you know? (I really wanted to put ‘ya know’ there but that didn’t seem grammatically correct).
I was able to do more on my knee than I had been in weeks although there was still some pain. However, God is always doing something. He was building and stretching my faith while bringing me the promise. While there was still some pain, I was able to remove my knee brace that evening… and it never went back on!! I got through the next few days of camp, even the 3.3-mile hike! Not because I was trying to prove something but because God had proved Himself to me. I did so much more on that knee over the next few weeks and I am STILL brace free!
Emotional Healing
I started my emotional healing journey over 4 years ago and God has done so much in that area. I used to cry myself to sleep from internal pain and now I cry from the depth of joy God has given me. However, God is too good to leave us where we believe we are ‘good enough.’ I did not know God still had wounds He wanted to heal, because I didn’t realize those wounds were there. He tore open deep wounds that had ‘healed’ incorrectly over the years and allowed them to hurt… for a few minutes. Then He did a deep, immediate healing in my soul over these wounds.
During one of these, He opened a wound from a specific person in my life, something I didn’t know was still affecting me. As I found my healing in that He guided someone with the same name to hug me and start speaking words of life over me. No, it wasn’t the person who hurt me, but God allowed someone to stand in the gap for me. In another, God led my whole squad to literally surround me in my moment of brokenness. I was shaking, crying, hurting… and they surrounded me. They sang over me, prayed over me, held me and loved me. I literally met this group of strangers 3 days before and they were loving on me in a way I have never been loved before.
God Truths
“Be careful what you do for Jesus, walk with him!”
About a year ago a fell into the trap of doing for God rather than being with God. I lost my love for ministry and I forgot why I was doing it. Instead I was just tired every day and going through the motions. These 10 days re-sparked my love for God, people, ministry and serving. The World Race also taught us that “Ministry is life; Life is Ministry.” Meaning, Ministry is not something we do as a job, it is something we live out in our daily lives.
“Are you still willing to be a servant even when you’re being treated like one?”
This hit me like I was dropped from a building (does that make sense?). It was a mic drop moment for me that I haven’t been able to get out of my head. I love helping others, doing and serving. I’ve (almost) always been thanked for it though, people have been grateful. At this point I have no idea how I would truly react to being treated like a servant. In all honesty, I’m pretty sure my mentality would change, and I would start rebelling in my Spirit. This has changed my outlook on how and why I serve. I no longer pray to be more servant hearted but to serve in a way that the response and treatment in return has no impact on how I serve.
“Shame is the painful feeling that we’re flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging… Shame makes you feel like you are a bad human rather than doing a bad thing.”
Here’s my get-real-with-you moment… I’m not perfect. *gasp* Whaaat??? It’s true. In the last few years I’ve made choices I would rather have not made. I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in that though. These decisions led to shame. Shame which I had to hide from others because of the fear that they would reject me. I forgot that God is so much greater than that. He has already forgiven every single wrong choice, and He has already redeemed me. My choices were just that, they are not my identity, nor will they ever define me.
The Gospel
One of the most informative things I learned was about how to present the gospel in other nations. We share the good news of the Bible here in the states, that there is forgiveness for our sins, that the price has been paid, and that we are free in Christ. It was quite a shocker for me to realize that this is NOT how we will be sharing the gospel abroad. In many cultures, sin is no big deal to them. What matters can be if they are bringing shame to their family or even if they are living in a state of fear. The gospel to these cultures needs to be presented as a way to bring honor or a way of being in power over fear. I’ve been recommended to read the 3D Gospel which explains these concepts in depth.
I know this is a lot! Thank you for reading through to the end and watch out for parts 2 and 3! Also, my next deadline is in 15 days! Every bit helps so if it is possible, please donate above!!
