For the past year, there have been numerous times during my World Race journey that I am suddenly hit with an internal question of “How did I end up here?!” It’s like an out-of-body experience, where I’m bewildered and speechless at how I’ve possibly gotten to that exact moment of my life. While I was having choir practice in a half-constructed log cabin in South Africa, singing over the clanging of hammers on nails, I laughed to myself, “How did I end up here?!” While sharing a message God spontaneously put on my heart in an Indian church, with my head wrapped in a scarf and my hands covered in henna, I thought, “How did I end up here?!” While lying under the shade of a tree in the African Bush on my inflated sleeping pad, miserably hot and dehydrated, I looked around at my exhausted teammates and asked, “How did we end up here?!”
Sometimes the question pops into my mind during crazy adventures, like while jumping off waterfalls in the Dominican Republic or being stalked by hippos in Botswana. It was a thought I had when I soared in the sky, paragliding in Nepal, and when I swam in the ocean, surfing in South Africa.
It’s a question I have asked during not-so-great times on the World Race, such as vomiting uncontrollably in a clinic due to a stomach virus, or suffering/constantly crying from sunburned corneas (who knew eyes could get sunburned?). Other times, it’s during the most mundane things, like grocery shopping in Serbia or taking a shower in Bulgaria. “Wait…how did I end up here?!”
I never ever would have imagined my life would look like this. I was always the girl with a plan. Straight A student in school, dreams of being a public school teacher, overachiever and goal-oriented, hopes of being married in my 20’s, and being a “good Christian” who goes on short-term mission trips, follows the rules, and lives to please the Lord.
Yet here I am. A few months shy of being 26 years old, jobless, single, and basically homeless since I’ve been a nomad, living from place to place for the past 11 months. And you know what? I LOVE IT. I feel incredibly free, open to whatever the Lord sends my way, and am overflowing with joy that I’m living a purposeful life for the Kingdom. Ever since submitting wholeheartedly to God’s plans a few years ago, he has stripped me of the desire to live a conventional life marked by success, security, and comfort. He encourages me to pursue my new God-given dreams, no matter how crazy they may sound, with faith, boldness, and risk. At this point, I have no “back-up plan” and have no idea how I ended up here other than because of Jesus. My biggest piece of advice is to surrender control of your life to God because it is there that you will find freedom, fulfillment, and satisfaction.
As this season on the World Race comes to an end, and I’m preparing to return to the States in TWO WEEKS, I’m finding myself again asking, “How did I end up here?!” How have I slept in 39 beds this past year? (Yes, I counted). How have I led worship in such a variety of congregations? How have I served at both a stranger’s wedding and a stranger’s funeral in Botswana? How have I walked around inside Dracula’s castle in Romania? How have I taken selfies with what seems like half of the population of India?
How have I spent my birthday on a mountain in Haiti, Halloween eating candy in a South African classroom, Thanksgiving over a fire in the middle of nowhere in the African Bush, Christmas in a Zambian resort’s pool under the hot sun, Valentine’s Day giving my teammates cards in a coffee shop in Nepal, and Easter celebrating Jesus’ resurrection in a Bulgarian church. HOW. DID. I. END. UP. HERE?!
I’ll tell you how – because Jesus brought me here.
Because God introduced me to people all around the world that I would never have met otherwise: my friend in Zambia who gleefully received her first-ever Christmas present, my friend in Nepal who used to be Buddhist but now makes a living selling Christian art, and my friend in Romania who has committed to helping and loving the homeless.
Because God gave me opportunities for my wild, adventurous soul to thrive: walking cheetahs on a leash, trekking mountains to remote villages, and riding in tuk-tuks alongside goats and cows on the road.
Because God was faithful: providing me with a cat to love on in each country whenever I desperately needed a feline cuddle, transforming my former distrustful view of guys into admiration and confidence in godly men, and using my ukulele to bring so many smiles to children’s faces.
Because God answered my prayer to “make me whatever you want me to be”: a camp counselor in South Africa, a preacher and worship leader in India, a painter in Haiti, a village evangelist in Botswana, a manual laborer in Bulgaria, a storyteller throughout this whole World Race.
This life is a beautiful one and I am incredibly grateful that we worship a never-changing God in an ever-changing world. I hope I continue to astonishingly wonder, “How did I end up here?” for the rest of my life.
