I’ve always been an introverted, go-with-the-flow, quiet person who likes to play it safe by doing what I know and am good at. But right before entering month 4 of the Race into Botswana, God put the word “bold” in my mind. I knew in my gut that He wanted me to step more into boldness, embrace being uncomfortable, and stretch myself in new ways. And so, without thinking too much about it, I prayed that the Lord would enable me to be bold this month. Ohhhh man…be careful what you pray for because God is always listening and He takes our requests seriously!
A mere two weeks later, I was doing things that I have never in my life done or would normally be comfortable doing. On stage at Sunday morning church, my teammate Amanda and I sang into microphones, helping to lead the congregation in worship. Standing in front of a classroom of high schoolers, on the spot sharing my testimony of how the Lord has moved in my life, and then witnessing 12 of them give their lives to Christ, is something I never imagined I’d participate in. Riding on a horse for the first time, an animal that usually makes me nervous up close, made the safari I was on during “adventure day” even cooler. In a room full of church staff, I spoke about the heart behind missions and the role we all play in God’s mission to be known worldwide.
All of these scenarios are situations that I honestly could never see myself agreeing to. “I don’t like singing in front of people” or “I hate talking in front of a group” is my usual excuse to avoid having attention put on me. I allow fear of stepping out to prevent me from fully embracing what the Lord is asking of me.
Over time I have gotten so used to letting someone else step up to the plate as I simply watch from the dugout, cheering them on from the sidelines. I don’t have to get my feet dirty, have all the fans in the bleachers’ eyes on me, or do the hard part of running all the way to home base. And yet, after the game, when my team is enthusiastically cheering over our win, why does my excitement not match up with theirs? Because I hadn’t been a batter, until recently. I hadn’t stepped up to the plate and taken a chance at swinging the bat. All because of anxiousness knowing everyone was watching.
But WOW have I been discovering freedom from this fear! Luke 12:12 says, “The Holy Spirit will give you the words to say at the moment when you need them.” I can attest to this promise because I’ve experienced it firsthand. Standing in front of a classroom of teens with no clue what to tell them, the Spirit guided my words about how desperately I wanted to fit in during high school but was always left feeling alone, until I realized that Jesus was pursuing to be my ever present best friend. When I was on stage at church, singing along with the worship team, I was originally nervous about feeling distracted and anxious that the congregation would be looking at me. Yet the only thing I was focused on was praising the name of Jesus Christ!
A few weeks ago, when I prayed for God to make me bold in Botswana, I wasn’t anticipating what that would look like. But through His strength and empowerment, I have confidently been walking in boldness and leaving behind my comfort zone. I can’t wait to see how this will continue to grow and flourish into the rest of my time on the Race!
John 15:7 // “If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.”
