When I sat down to write about what I learned this week, I couldn’t figure out what to write. I knew I had learned so much, but I didn’t have the words. I wanted so badly to write about all I had seen, but it was all jumbled and there was no beginning or end, no order, no coherent thought to write.
The irony is my lack of words is exactly what God was teaching me. I wanted to be wise, but I can’t be wise without God. The very definition of wisdom is that it is from God. God is who He is. Nothing I do or say will change that. God does what He does whether I understand it or not, and frankly my understanding of what God is doing is pointless because I can’t understand God. If God was only as big as my brain, then I would be in trouble. Yet, it is such a privilege that I get to learn things from God. He chooses to teach me his word and reveals to me it’s meaning.
Psalm 119 is the longest psalm, it was written by multiple people, and it is a collection of people praising God’s decrees and mediating on his word. In Psalm 119, one writer writes, “Help me understand the meaning of your commands, I will meditate on your wonderful deeds.” (Verse 27). Then another writes, “Oh Lord, your unfailing love fills the earth; teach me your decrees.” (Verse 64). This theme continues throughout all of Psalm 119. It’s cool to see how all the writers in Psalm 119 love God’s word and commands so much, and yet they still need God to teach them the meaning.
“Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.” (Psalm 119:105). What God reveals to me is a lamp to my feet. It gives me wisdom in the rest of my life. It lets me see. God’s word is life. “Surround me with your tender mercies that I may live, for your instructions are my delight.” (Psalm 119:77). The word became flesh to bring abundant life. Because of God’s word, and Jesus, the word that became flesh, I get to live in the abundance of God’s glory. I have the privilege of seeing God’s word come to life all around me.
I see the promises of scripture come alive around me. Little pieces here and there. I’m having dinner with a friend and I realize new meaning behind stories I have read. I’m walking through the market discussing keeping promises, and I remember Jesus saying to keep your word. I’m at church listening to worship in Thai, celebrating because people of every tongue will praise His name. I’m walking down the street and unknowingly I’m marked by hundreds of verses floating around in my head. It’s not always big and flashy, the way God moves, sometimes it’s small and quiet, but I’m starting to see him in everything.
I’m learning, realizing, and discovering so many things, but I can’t make sense of everything on my own. All I know is that I’m alive and full of wonder. I’m learning to follow God’s conviction. I’m learning what it means to serve and love others well. I’m laughing with Thai people that I meet randomly. I’m learning the heart of the Father, and I’m gaining wisdom from Him. It’s taken me a long time to lay down my pride and admit I can’t understand the bible on my own.
There is no way to not interpret the Bible. Humans are bias; we see what we want to see. That’s why we need God to teach us. We need to be open to new understanding. The article I read for Truett McConnell University said, “A person should not presume, mislead by the masks of his intentions, to do anything better or surer than what God can do with his own mouth.” (Friedberger, article 31). This shows me again my need for God, even though I want to think I can gain wisdom and abundance on my own. Even though I can’t do it on my own, I can take comfort because God promises to be with me. Like it says in Hymn 364, “I am thy God, and I will give thee aid; My grace all sufficient, shall be thy supply.”
I sat down to write down what I was learning, and in that I discovered that God was teaching me just to lean on him. I wanted to write something brilliant, but my own supposed brilliance is devoid of meaning. In my lack of understanding I get to see God move and I get to be in awe. It’s in my shortcomings and weaknesses that God shows up the clearest.
