This post is sooooooo overdue! Life has been loco to say the least… but better late than never, right?
So here we are. I leave for the race in three weeks. What the flippin’ what?! But, we are going to rewind about a month to (dun dun DUNNNNNN…) training camp.
Training camp is a 10-day camp in Gainesville, GA at the Adventures in Missions campus to prepare you physically, emotionally, and spiritually for the World Race. My training camp was July 10-20. I could go into detail about the tents, food (or lack thereof), humidity, bucket showers, and craziness, but I made a youtube video for that! (Shameless plug, I’ll attach the link at the end of this post!)
Rather, this post is going to be dedicated to what the Lord did to my heart at training camp. He shattered it, strengthened it, put it back together, and so lovingly filled all the cracks with Holy Spirit super glue.
Here is how He did it:
1) The first thing He revealed to me was the importance of denying myself and picking up my cross daily. On the first morning of training I was already trying to figure out if I could handle the race or not. I felt completely overwhelmed, I was one of the last people to have my tent all packed up (you have to do that almost every morning… that’s one of the training things I don’t quite understand *nervous laugh*), and I was a sweaty, exhausted mess… on morning number ONE! In efforts to not become discouraged and irrational, I pressed into Jesus. He said, “I ask you to deny yourself and pick up your cross daily. Don’t try to pick up your cross for the next ten months. All you’re promised is today, which means I have purpose for you in this day. Don’t silence my voice by occupying all of your thoughts on the future. Deny your comfort… seek my energy in your exhaustion, my peace in your chaos, my redemption when you feel behind. Seek me daily. What do I have to reveal to you today? Save tomorrow for tomorrow. I have called you into this. Surely, I will not abandon you here.”
2) The second thing He taught me was to be patient with myself and stand firm on the truth, not my feelings. Every night at training camp you get to worship together for an hour/hour and a half. It’s awesome! That’s why I freaked out when I wasn’t quite “feeling it” the first few nights… my mind was totally distracted. I would immediately start praying, begging God to focus my mind, silence my thoughts, and keep my mind fixed on Him. The enemy would sneak in and fill my mind with doubt… It was so frustrating. While I was praying afterward, I asked God to remind me of the truth. That HE is Lord of all, HE is my loving Father, HE conquered death, and HE loves me so much simply because I am His daughter. I asked Him to give me peace when I hear Satan’s lies in my mind. I asked Him to give me patience for myself when I feel like I need to feel a certain way at a certain time. That even when I’m not overwhelmed with emotions as I worship, I would remember that the truth still stands. He is worthy of praise all the time… even when I don’t feel full of joy, peace, and awe. “Have patience,” He said, “My grace covers you… I know your heart.”
3) Last, but not least, He revealed to me that He is steadfast in my sufferings and weeping alongside me. While I was at training camp I received the news that my sister ran away and was back with her biological family (I won’t go deep into detail on here but if you’d like to talk more about that, I’m an open book). Needless to say, it was heartbreaking, angering, and confusing. Not even 48 hours later I received the call that my dear friend passed away… I was a beautiful mess that night. Jesus was the beautiful part, I was the mess part. I laid face down during worship and sobbed. I felt an extreme peace over me and knew I was free to let everything out. I knew Jesus was sitting right next to me crying, too. No father wants His daughter to be hurt. I also felt Him whisper, “I’m doing something through this, I promise. I am with you.” My amazing friends physically swarmed me with prayer. My friend Madeline called me into her tent and just listened to me and prayed over me. She also shared her chocolate with me which was such a spiritual moment (LOL, but for real though). My friend Tiara sat down next to me and just cried with me. I can’t express how much that meant to me; how Christ-like that was. She didn’t try to advise me and wipe my tears, she just loved me so much that my hurt caused her to hurt and she cried with me. My friend Layton, who is going through a season of grief himself, grabbed my shoulders and said, “Sis, get ready, you’re about to learn some amazing things about our God. I’m excited for you.” And that was the most humbling, beautiful, encouraging thing to hear. My friend Lexi covered me in prayer and was so intentional about asking how I was doing throughout the rest of training. Everyone was so amazing. That is the body of Christ. That is God’s grace- to put me in that community while I experienced such heartache. He is way too good to me. He always provides. What Satan tried to do to harm me and pull me away from the race, Jesus used to make me fall deeper in love with Him. I’m still processing the loss of my sister and friend, but I’m definitely over the hump of it all and clinging to the Truth that is Jesus Christ. He is so gentle and patient with me. UGH I love Him so much.
Ultimately, training camp was a whirlwind. But, it allowed me to discover beautiful, life-changing truths about our Father. He is constant and good. He already tells us that in scripture, yet He chooses to prove it to me over and over again even though He doesn’t have to. That is grace! Thank you, Jesus, for being the light in the darkness, the clarity in the confusion, and the redeemer of ALL things! Satan, you will never have your way here. Go on back to Hell where you belong. Father, thank you for covering me with grace and strength even when I was completely broken down, tired, and irritated at training camp. Thank you for calling me into a season of adventure. Let’s DO THIS!
God bless,
Anna <3
