Before I start this blog, I do want to apologize for taking what feels like so much time from not posting a blog. Since we had an abbreviated month, I wanted to be as present as possible and I knew writing this blog, in particular, would stir up a lot of emotions that I didn’t want to press into while we still had a few more days of ministry left. With that, let’s get started!
This month, my squad was in Haiti. We were in Haiti for about two and a half weeks as a result of the political demonstrations and unrest throughout the country. My team was informed about a week before the beginning of Month 2 that we would be with another team. It was truly great to be able to engage in ministry in a smaller setting– fewer people, a smaller space, but a wider variety of ministry. On an important note, ministry was conducted in Haitian Creole. As you may know, I love learning languages because I’m intrigued by how language interacts with culture and I prefer to love people by learning their heart language to talk to them, even if we can only have very elementary conversations. Since ministry was conducted in Creole, we had four translators that helped us with nearly everything that we did.
Long story short, I stayed back from ministry about a week into ministry because my stomach wasn’t happy with my malaria meds and apparently lack of water. While I was at our home, one of our translators randomly popped in to get or do something and we ended up talking for a bit. (Shamma, the translator, at this point, has made it a normal point of our interactions to see how much Creole I have learned by asking me questions multiple times a day.) He eventually asked me, in English, if I would ever come back to Haiti, to visit or to work as a missionary again.
My immediate response was to explain my desires for the end of the Race (to go back to Croatia for about a month, visiting friends, helping with a camp, and hopefully being allowed to stay as a full-time missionary with the Romani population there). As I was expounding my deepest longings for the end of this journey that I have just started, I saw the hurt in his eyes and, honestly, it hurt.
I wrestled with why unofficially telling him no hurt so much. I prayed about it, told others about the conversation, and eventually, I had to check my pride and the desires of my heart against the will of God. Yes, my heart to serve the Romani-Croatian population is pure. Yes, serving them would ultimately be for His glory and for the building up of the Kingdom. But, who am I to attempt to thwart the plans and will of God because I want to do something?
Simply, this is why it hurt so much: I had put my love of the Romani so far before the will of God in and for my life, consistently, for so long, that I was not willing to return to a different group people, culture, language that I had started to love in the matter of week. (When I fall for something or someone, I had hard and quick, and my two and a half weeks in Haiti was no different.) By the end of this ~month~, I had started telling the translators and others, somewhat jokingly, that I would summer in Croatia and winter in Haiti.
To be candid, I have not fully surrendered serving the Romani people to God, but I am starting to loosen my tight fist so I can eventually hold them with an open hand. If God allows me to work with and serve them, more than a year’s worth of prayers will be answered. If not, I am pursuing His will for my life, even if it is super uncomfortable and not the present desire of my heart. If I can do anything, I just want to encourage you not to let go of your dreams, your prayers, and the deepest desires of your heart, but offer them to God with an open hand, and if those desires, prayers, and dreams are truly in alignment with His will they will come to fruition.
TL;DR: A friend of mine asked me a simple question and God taught me an important lesson about obedience.
With love during Travel ~Day~,
Angie
Prayer Requests:
- The continual softening of the hearts of God’s children to be generous,
- Safe travels during this period of travel (Haiti, Dominican Republic, USA, Qatar, and finally SOUTH AFRICA), and
- A willingness of the Haitian government to listen to and act accordingly to the needs of their people.
Praise Reports:
- I have reached the $15,000 mark but still, have about $2,600 to raise (excluding monthly contributions),
- I can express so fairly simple ideas on Haitian Creole because of my four great teachers (the translators), and
- My team will be by ourselves, doing ministry I love, & able to cook for ourselves, all without the threat of malaria!
