With my homecoming a week away, I keep getting asked “what did you learn?”
It’s a really good question and one I wish I could answer readily and concisely right now, but I’m not quite there yet. I hope that God reveals things I’ve learned and continues to teach me things through this experience for the rest of my life. As I’ve been reflecting with the Lord on the past 11 months, I’ve asked Him to remind me of big moments that taught me big things about His character in each country. I want to share those with you.
The Dominican Republic
- Sitting on a porch overlooking the jungle with Starr, my sweet sister, reading II Corinthians and talking about it meant to her in her season of life and what it meant to me in mine.
Haiti
- Driving down the mountain from our weekly kids club, waving our final goodbye and seeing my cutie little friends wave eagerly back. Some of them knew we weren’t returning, some of them didn’t; this was the first time I’ve really experienced the difficulty and finality of goodbyes.
South Africa
- Singing about God’s favor and peace in a half-built log cabin with 12 Racers, some construction crew members, and some church goers, to a song by an Australian church in a choir conducted by a Scottish carpenter who was in SA short-term from his place in Spain.
Botswana
- I’ve got two here: 1) sitting in the baby class at the village preschool and realizing what it felt like to be feared for my skin color and then persistently loving others and slowly being let in. 2) when my teammate Laiken prayed for our stolen goods to bless the thieves who ran away with them in front of us.
Zambia
- Crying on the shoulder of my team leader, Elsie, when I had to miss our last ministry day in the country because I was sick (again).
India
- Seeing and hearing a group of 30 babes from 4-13 shouting “I am beautiful. I am strong. I am brave” and seeing that truth sink in through how they lived and interacted with others.
Nepal
- Hiking through the mountains and failing over and over and over. Falling, needing help carrying things, and lagging behind – and being met with help and grace and beauty and never condemnation.
Romania
- 1) Realizing how life-giving it is to do ministry when I’m operating out of Sabbath rest and when I’m using what the Lord’s gifted me in. 2) getting back on stage to help lead worship (for the first time in four years) for my squad and our parents, incredibly rusty, and being reminded that my talent (or lack thereof) isn’t the point and never will be the point of worship.
Bulgaria
- Sitting in our first meeting with our ministry host and realizing I don’t have to agree with people to serve them, and that when I lay my opinions and pride down and choose love, the Lord allows friendship and ministry to thrive.
Serbia
- Seeing a woman’s face light up as she realized that we cared enough about her culture and language to learn how to write in Serbski.
Albania
- Standing in the home of a Muslim family and asking to pray for them and their youngest daughter, seeing their other two daughters snack on food we got to bring them because the Church got together to raise money for them, and remembering the Lord got us there because we said “yes” to going to a village with an AirBnb family we met five days before.
Here’s what God continually teaches me through these moments: He loves us personally and reveals His goodness constantly. He will let our hearts break for what breaks His heart and will be there to restore us. He is a God of unification and diversity, that He created us differently (skin, cultures, desires, gifts) for His glory. He’s our refuge. He desires my obedience, not my accomplishments, and there is peace in that. When I feel like I have nothing left to offer, He sustains me. He is a God of life and truth and will relentlessly tell us those truths when the enemy is throwing lies at us. He knows I’ll fail and there is endless grace for me. He gave me cool skills and talents and I don’t have to be jealous of other people’s. There are times He wants me to choose prayer and restraint over being heard, even when/if my opinion reflects His heart. That He delights in being known and in knowing us.
It’s been an incredible 11 months, friends, and I’m so thankful for all of you sticking with me through it all. See you soon!
