About a year ago, the Lord clearly, unignorably, set the World Race on my heart. In January of 2017, I told my precious friends Ashton and Jenni that I felt that the Lord was leading me to spend the year after graduation doing His work through the World Race. I was excited, confident, ready, and quickly met with so much support from my sweet friends and family.
I had already spent hours poring over blog posts from current and former Racers, following Instagram pages dedicated to the World Race, looking into the theological views of the ministry, and swooning over the Lord’s work being done in the other countries. And in my state of confidence from finally saying “yes” to the Lord in this calling, I did the thing I’d been putting off for quite some time:
I looked at how much it costs.
And y’all, I LAUGHED straight at God. I pretty distinctly remember thinking, “Alright Jesus, that’s a fun idea, but I’m going to have do something else because if I sold everything I own and all of my unnecessary organs, I still couldn’t afford this.” I was actually laughing at the Lord’s call on my life because it seemed so utterly absurd. $18,000+ is a mess of a lot of money, and I was quite humored by the impossibility and ludicrousness of the situation.
But the Holy Spirit immediately called this verse to my mind (albeit paraphrased, because ya girl’s memory is not that good): “Why did Sarah laugh and say, ‘Shall I indeed bear a child, now that I am old’?’ Is anything too hard for the LORD?” (Genesis 18:13-14).
If y’all aren’t familiar with Genesis 18, I’ll catch you up! In this chapter (and the surrounding ones), Isaac’s birth is discussed. The Lord tells Abraham that he and his wife are about to have a son that would “become nations.” Sarah, droppin’ eaves on the Lord and her husband in a tent Sam Gamgee style, was very amused by this. She was about 90, Abraham was 100, and they were definitely past their baby-making prime. But God showed His ability to provide, to do things that defy everything we think we know, and miraculously demonstrate His ability to carry His plans through. Sarah gave birth to Isaac, and Isaac was continuously used as an example of faith and the faithfulness of the Lord. Isaac is super important in the narrative of Scripture because through Isaac’s miraculous birth, there was the fulfillment of God’s promise to make Abraham’s descendants a great nation. Isaac is also in the lineage of Jesus, which is obviously very cool! (I don’t have the space to get into it, but WOW the lineage of Jesus is worth spending some time looking into!)
Okay, back to me laughing at the Lord. This moment of disrespect is certainly not my proudest, but it’s important. Clearly, I was a smidge convicted at my disbelief in my Father’s ability to provide when He calls, and I am continuously being proven wrong. Since this gentle reminder that He has constantly been performing miracles that make literally no sense whatsoever, He has persisted in demonstrating His ability to provide.
I’m going to be honest with you guys – I was SO discouraged with fundraising until about a month ago. However, God is beyond faithful to provide for things He calls us to. In the past month, I’ve gone from less than 10% funded to a little over 50%. I’m less than $500 away from my second goal of $10,000, which will allow me to launch in August and start hanging out and serving in Haiti. HOW AMAZING IS THAT??
In the last verse of Genesis 18, God says, “…but you did laugh.” And I think that’s a lesson that He’s going to be teaching me not only in this season of preparation, but for the rest of my life as I struggle against doubt. Time and time again, God demonstrates His goodness to show up, pull through, and provide when I consistently have to fight against the doubt that He’s going to. But man, I am looking forward to seeing how He continues to provide for this, and at the end of all of this I’m confident I’ll be able to say, “I laughed, but is anything too hard for the Lord?”
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I love you all and I’m so humbled and thankful for your support, encouragement, and partnership with me in this. Thank you for making this possible for me!
