I don’t know why blogging has been so hard for me. I have stories to tell and things I want to share but I often believe the lies that people don’t want to hear it and that if I don’t tell it perfectly people won’t understand. I’m guess I am not 100% confident in my storytelling abilities–that’s just the truth.
But here I am, writing. I’m going to try to be more consistent and am trying to shift my idea of blogging–it doesn’t have to be some earth-shattering revelation but can be a place of simplicity and honesty. Correct me if I’m wrong but I think you guys just want to know what’s going on in my life and in the world around me. So I’m gonna quit. I’m gonna quit putting ridiculous expectations on myself and just share–whatever that my look like.
I haven’t shared on this blog for like three months~the entire month of Africa~but the Lord has been so active in that time so I want to just share a few highlights from the last three months.
South Africa
This month changed the way I view God and I’ll forever be so grateful for our ministry and hosts for equipping me, not only for ministry in this country, but for life. I was challenged on what ministry looks like when I’m not on the WR anymore and was pushed to do hard things and allow the Spirit to lead. I’ll share a quick story–but let me just first say that my quiet times in the mornings in SA were so beautiful; the Lord was incredibly present and we would just talk which is where this story begins: One morning I asked the Lord what He had in store for me that day (our ministry was visiting the squatter camps every day–we would build friendships, pray with people, share our stories, and share the gospel). The Lord told me “a woman with beads” and at first I thought that came from myself, not the Lord, so I asked again and again he said “a woman with beads.” When we got to the squatter camp I was put in a group with a squadmate, an intern from our ministry, and a translator. We got together and shared anything the Lord had given us that morning and I shared about the woman with beads, we then prayed and our translator, Simon Peter, looked at me and said, “The woman in beads, I know who she is, we will go visit her today. She is a sangoma (a witch doctor).” Inside I was bursting, the Lord had never spoken to me like that and then proved himself so clearly and quickly. If I hadn’t been obedient to what He told me I never would have seen His faithfulness. We were able to go spend time with the sangoma and continued to build a friendship with her; we didn’t see her come to know the Lord that day but she gave us some porcupine quills, showed us her ritual room, let us ask *too many* questions and let us pray with her. I fully believe the Lord used that time to plant seeds and grow trust in that relationship. There are so many other stories from this month that were crucial in helping me take God out of the box I’d had Him in for so many years and allow Him to work in and through me. It was so. cool. Amen and amen.
Botswana
Honestly, this was one of the most challenging months of the race. I stepped into team leading in Botswana! This month they took the men and women from the 2 co-ed teams and put them each on separate teams. So all the men were together and all the women were together, which means I led a team of 9 women! When they asked me to team lead I was scared and excited. I told the Lord I would said “yes” this year and the fact that it scared me made me want to do it even more. Growth always comes when being challenged even though it’s scary and uncomfy at times but this year I am tryin to g r o w. It’s also funny because I remember at training camp telling our leadership team that I wasn’t a natural leader and that I didn’t want to be in leadership, I also had no experience being in leadership positions but I am so thankful for the opportunity to team lead and believe the Lord has so much to teach me through it. This month was challenging for a lot of reasons: we came into a difficult situation at our ministry, basically just a time of big transitions and it was hard on all of us. We had some responsibilities but we had a lot of down time and this month basically became an ATL (ask the Lord) month, meaning we would literally ask the Lord what we wants us to do and walk in obedience but just ran into a lot of closed doors. We also battled sickness (surprise, Africa tried to kill us), we attended a week long, intensive, missions training we didn’t know we’d be doing and we tried to beat dehydration living in a desert with temps that got up to 110 degrees.
All of that being said I will look back on this month and remember the purest form of community. Our group of 9 women poured into each other and built each other up and it was truly beautiful to be a part of. Looking back on Botswana, I’ll remember a really difficult month, but I’ll also remember a month where my team chose each other, a month where we had the most beautiful Thanksgiving dinner, the month where we stayed up until midnight playing card games, a month where making biscuits at 11pm was normal, a month where we constantly lived in fear of the biggest spiders I’ve ever seen–but like in a funny way. This month was full of contrasts. It was empty but full. It was challenging but beautiful. It was dry but the Lord reigned.
Zambia
I was asked to team lead again this month, which I had been praying about and knew the Lord had more to teach me and grow me in through leading so I said YES. We had team changes at the beginning of this month; our new team is called Eve. There are 5 of us: Kasey, Cimone, Amanda, Sarah and I (check out and subscribe to their blogs as well). This month has had it’s own challenges and has been pretty frustrating and emotionally exhausting but I’ve also continued to see the Lord’s goodness in the midst of those trials. We experienced trauma together (read about how Amanda fell out of our host’s moving truck here), grew in unity through processing that as a team, we all got sick–like puking our guts out and constant diarrhea, we experienced a major holiday away from home, and celebrated two birthdays (S/O Sarah and Cimone!) away from home. All in the matter of 16 days. It was the longest two weeks ever. Through those trials I saw the Lord’s protection in a situation that could have been so much worse, I saw our team choose each other when the easy thing would have been to run away, I’ve seen the 5 of us care for each other so purely, I’ve seen us pour ourselves into putting on 3 kids camps and show all 250 children the love of Jesus. After those 16 days our entire squad came together to debrief for a few days where we said goodbye to our Squad Leaders (RIP James and LeAnn jk they’re alive and well but passed the baton to our new SQLs).
During this debrief we had a morning where we went to evangelize with our teams.
~cue super cool story of healing ft. Team Eve~
So we each took some time to ask the Lord where He wanted us to go and if He had any words for us. The Lord showed us images of pots, families, and told us that we would be able to encourage and love on some believers. The Lord led us to a walled in area where there were several homes, many of the women were out and OH there were pots everywhere. So we split up into smaller groups and started talking to the women. Sarah, Cimone and I met a woman named Mary and her lil family, first. After talking to her we sensed a heaviness and asked her how she was feeling, she told us her head was hurting. I asked her if she got them a lot, she said yes. We laid hands on her and prayed for healing. When we were done we asked her how she was feeling, she said it was better but still hurt. We prayed again because we walk in the authority of the One who made it all and truly believe the Lord can take away her pain. Her headache left. During that conversation with Mary another woman came to us and said “come visit me when you are done” we said we would and she said she would be waiting for us. We made our way over to Olepa’s house. We sat and talked about life and family and faith. She is an incredible woman who leads the body of Christ in boldness and acceptance, like Jesus. She has been a single mother since her husband died 13 years ago and shared with us how she raised her boys who are now pastors in 4 different countries in Africa–super cool. She poured into us, we poured into her and then we asked if we could pray for her before we left. She said yes and then Sarah specifically asked if there was anything on her body that needed healing. Olepa shared with us that her daughter had passed a couple years before. After she passed they tested her and found out she was HIV positive. Knowing that, Olepa also got tested and found out she too was positive. We moved into a prayer room and we all 5 us laid hands on her. Cimone felt led to pray and we could feel the Spirit so present in the room with us. Sarah prayed next, specifically for healing from her HIV. Olepa was shaking and tears were streaming down her face. Sarah told us that she felt her arm get really hot and tingle and she knew the HIV was leaving Olepa’s body. We asked how she felt when we got done praying–she said “light and renewed” We gave her hugs and got a pic with her and Cimone gave her a crocheted cross. Olepa said it would always remind her of the day she was healed. These moments, these women were i n c r e d i b l e and are only possible because of the authority we have with the blood of Jesus.
That is my Africa experience condensed for your reading pleasure. I hope you see the goodness & glory of God in these stories. I hope you see that light pours into the darkness when our focus is on Him. I hope you see how God can use your “yes” and take you on an adventure. Africa has changed my view of God and in turn has changed my life. Truly. I will forever be thankful I was able to call it home for 3 months because it now holds such a big piece of my heart. I said goodbye to Africa on January 1st and headed to India, where I’m currently writing from. We are receiving some cultural training before moving to our home for the month and I feel the Lord stirring up SOMETHIN in my heart for this country and the people here. I can’t wait to build some freaking Kingdom with my team this month. LET GO MONTH SIX.
