**This is a blog I wrote a couple years ago after coming home from Guatemala with Adventures Ambassador program. It has given me great peace today about training camp. I’ve felt so much fear and uncertainty in the last week about training and everything it will bring. So, I’m sharing this here for anyone and everyone, I hope it encourages you friends.
“Over the last couple weeks I’ve been thinking how to sum up the month of July 2016 into words; What did I learn? A lot. What did I experience? A lot. What emotions do I feel being home? A lot.
But I can’t sum up a month of spiritual madness in just, “A lot”.
So here it is.
My God is savior, He is love, He is a good father, but something He isn’t is comfortable. My God is not safe, He is not easy, or “normal”, He is the exact opposite. My God is challenging, uncomfortable, paranormal, and extraordinary x1000.
Looking back on my month in Guatemala, a country of amazing beauty, loving people, the most adorable children you’ll ever see, and also a place of deep spiritual darkness, I can’t help but see all the ways that the Lord took me out of my comfort zone for the needs of the people, but also for myself. I knew He would do that, in fact, I expected it going into the trip…but I didn’t want it and I certainly didn’t want it to become a constant thing. I was comfortable with the amount of faith I was walking in and living out, I was comfortable with being comfortable. But, my God is good, and He quickly started to change that.
The first full day of training camp, I sat on a hill at 9:00 a.m. trying to read the Word and meditate on it, but I was overcome with loneliness, discomfort, and discouragement. How was I going to do this? I couldn’t go to this country and connect with a different people when I can’t even talk with my teammates without being terrified. I thought, “God who am I kidding? I don’t belong here, I’m not like all these other people. I can’t sing, or draw, or play guitar. I can’t pray boldly in front of people, or sit down and speak truth into a stranger without feeling like I’m going to throw up. God why did you choose me?” But He used that discomfort, the feeling of uncertainty, so I can openly communicate what He already knew, so that I can see it for myself…God’s pretty sneaky that way.
Throughout the trip He continued to make me feel uncomfortable, uncertain, and unsafe, constantly taking me out of my comfort bubble. In these ways, working with handicapped, not being able to sleep, showing me that I’m not as good with children as I thought, and being called to share the Gospel with people on the streets, the Lord showed me that being His servant isn’t easy, its not just sitting in a church pew and looking like a servant, its not just praying that someone is healed because you know its what you should do. Being a servant of the King is laying hands on a brother and knowing that our King is faithful and powerful, being a servant is sometimes being called to completely change you outlook on life, sometimes its leaving behind what’s become safe and easy because your Father needs your faith to grow deeper…Sometimes being a servant to a Good King, is realizing that you’re going against everything your human nature tells you, that you’ll be more uncomfortable than that day you wore jeans and had to hike a mountain (don’t do it kids…), but like the view at the top of that mountain, the change, the deeper faith, will be so worth it and extraordinary beyond belief.
It’s like a breath of fresh air, like you’ve been filled with the Holy Spirit all over again, because He has allowed you to see a new level of His power and wisdom.
My God is good, but He’s not safe…and I praise Him for it everyday.”
