I’m going to be completely honest. I haven’t written a blog in awhile because I honestly don’t know what to write. There’s so much going through my head, so many emotions and feelings and so much to do. It’s been a whirlwind of a month and I feel like I haven’t had any time to really process what I’m doing. I’m leaving my home, where I am comfortable, to be willingly uncomfortable for the sake of the Lord.
I’m not perfect, I’m not special, I’m just responding to a calling on my life. I didn’t do this on my own. I mean, I’m kind of terrified. I’m going to miss milestones and traditions and holidays with my family. I’m going to go weeks without talking to my friends and family. I’ll be living with so little, with people that I don’t even know, and I’m nervous.
A lot of this anxiousness reminds me of the story of Jesus sleeping on the boat during the storm. The disciples were so scared of what was going to happen that they couldn’t focus on the fact that Jesus is Lord. The disciples even had the nerve to say “Don’t you care that we are going to drown?” The thing is, Jesus knew what was happening, He wasn’t scared, and He didn’t want his disciples to be worried either. He got up, He calmed the storm, and He said “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?”
This is the biggest thing I’ve ever done. I’m stepping out in faith and it’s taking a lot of sacrifice and trust, but I know that God sees me when my nerves get the best of me. There’s no doubt in my mind that God has called me to this, and in that I find confidence. So peace, be still.
