Yesterday was a very interesting day. It was filled with some lows and highs and deep conversations in between. I had two separate conversations about my promise ring. One with a young man and another with a young women. Both are younger then me and thinking about getting one of their own. We talked about why I wear mine, what it means, my commitment and hope for the future. I explained about my dating Jesus and waiting. I have had my ring since I was 15 and I have not been on a date in 10 years. This was a shock to them but also a good perspective. A lot of people in their culture do not wait and fall into a lot of sin before marriage and especially with the young women, I was able to talk about boundaries and standards.
Promises are a funny thing when you think about it. They require a decision, trust and a certain amount of faith in yourself and the other party. In my case my promise with Jesus is mostly set on who He is, with an expectation on me to do my best to hold onto His teachings and walk according to His will. Even when you make promises with other humans it does still require something of you. Both parts contribute to making it work. My parents celebrated 36 yrs last Tuesday and I am blessed to have the best example of honesty and integrity when it comes to walking out this particular promise. Shout out because I get to see them in 2 weeks. But really they are committed and they take the responsibility as well as the results seriously. Commitment matters when it comes to a promise.
This leads me to what I really wanted to talk about. Making promises with Jesus. There are countless songs and verses that talk about His faithfulness and how good He is. Standing on His promise is better then anything else this world has to offer. But, there is a cost to making that choice. We have to choose to be faithful to Him. To Trust Him, Respect Him, Love Him and Glorify Him in our lives above everything else. That is not always easy. It is a fine line to the prosperity gospel. (With God life will be great, you will have no troubles and He will give you everything you desire.) God promises good to those who love Him and He promises never to leave or forsake us. He has a purpose and a plan.
Yesterday was one of those days where I was having a lack of trust on my part. We have been talking off and on about fundraising and I was still not fully funded. I came into my room where Kaysha was and all I could do was manage a pathetic arm gesture while trying not to completely cry and scream. I was hurt and confused. I know I am where I am supposed to be, I know I am in His will, where was the funds. She hugged me and prayed for me as I went off to prepare a fundraiser. I sat with God and said okay, I will ask one more time and I prepared to fundraise right up until I get home if that is what it was going to take. I shared with the ywam staff what I was doing and they were praying for me. (That was humbling because the 2,000 I needed was enough to sustain their families for a few months and I am always humbled by how much God provides for those He cares for.)
I finished the poster and went to post but the internet was down. I helped do lunch dishes and prayed some more. I checked my account and posted the fundraiser. I had two encouraging responses and got to chat with my best friend. A few hours later I checked my account and I found that it had uploaded an anonymous gift of 2,000 from the 17th. I could not believe it. Look at God, He had already moved my mountain. I ran down to tell Kaysha and she freaked out with me. Then she said something that stopped me in my tracks, “I knew He would do it. I almost told you to stop crying earlier, He always answers your prayers. He even sent you a purple tree. I knew the money was coming.” It made me smile but also wish that she had. Why are we so quick to assume people will be offended when we speak truth into their hurt. She might have “hurt” me in the moment but I was having a lack of faith moment. I was struggling with my part of the promise. Calling me out would have been in love. He does hear and answer my prayers. I can trust Him. It is not arrogant to stand on God. It is the ultimate promise. It is saying that my trust is not in myself or this world but in the creator.
Just like I was able to encourage my friends about making a promise with Jesus about purity and their future marriage, I want to have that in every part of my life. I thank God that I am a work in progress.
Thank you to everyone who has helped financially, emotionally, prayerfully and just for being a part of this journey. God is so faithful all the time!!!!
2 weeks left. I will prolly post one or two more blogs. I can’t believe it. Also for those at home Happy Thanksgiving stay warm.
