My last blog was a bit long but I had a lot on my mind. The last 3 days have shed some light on how I was feeling trapped in my dark headspace. One of my mentors spoke truth into my mess. He compared satan to a sales man and I really liked his analogy. The whisper came knocking on the threshold of my mind. Instead of slamming the door, I let him get a foot in and he just kept talking and tearing down everything in his path. The lies I started to allow were just that, lies. I had let the “shadow” of death darken my doorstep. I needed to kick him out with the truth.
I used to think that the distance from the head to the heart was a downward one. That my head knew things and I had to make my heart believe them. Philosophy gears you that way a lot. It puts an emphasis on figuring it out and dissecting it til you can make a coherent thought. I would have said my image of God in my mind was great and that my heart was the broken part. I know my heart has a hard time trusting fully sometimes but, I think faith is rooted there. Belief is something you feel in your very being. Philosophy calls it the God complex or something like that, there are more terms but it is like God puts a small hole in us that can only be filled by Him. Like a fingerprint of the creator. The last 3 days I have been learning that the journey is from the heart to the head. Peace that surpasses all understanding comes from above but is rooted in my spirit not my mind. *That is how it surpasses understanding. The lies I had let creep in were because I had allowed the lies through the doorway of my mind. It says that satan crouches ready to devour. I realized that my heart isn’t the one that needs convincing. My heart is willing to travel to the ends of the earth to pursue this romance with Jesus. My head is the one caught up in the “what ifs” and the “is that really true?”
Armed with this knowledge l am ready to head to Africa. I am no longer thinking about convincing my heart, I am going to fight this battle the right way. God says, inwardly we should be renewing or mind daily. Taking every thought captive and fighting it with scripture and truth about who God says I am and what He says about Himself and my life. My mind is not a playground it’s a battlefield and I am more equipped now then I was before.
Don’t let satan steal your joy! Don’t let him blind you. When that salesman comes knocking on your door slam it shut in his face. We have everything we need in Christ. God is good, faithful and just. When tempted to believe otherwise go back to the source of our faith. It is not on us to fight this battle, it is knowledge from above that lead us into a relationship with God from the begining. He says seek and you will find. Cling to Him in times of trouble and stop letting satan convince you that all these “problems & doubts” are a part of you. We don’t need what he is selling.
