It is less then 10 days til we are about a quarter of the way done with the race. It is so crazy to me to think about all that God has done. The idea of being a missionary has really sunk in.
I have loved the fellowship in Jamaica, but it has made me more home sick then the last 2 countries. I have spent time fellowshiping in the kitchen this month. For those that don’t know, I love kitchens. I don’t necessarily love cooking but I love the warmth of kitchens. People gather and do life in the kitchen. It is a safe space. To me it is home. So many powerful life conversations have happened in kitchens with people I love.
Why did I think the kitchen in Jamaica would be any different. I remember tentatively planting myself by their make shift sink. ( the church we were helping at was under construction) I was more then a little afraid of these strong spiritual women. Knowing I wanted to learn from them and secretly hoping they wouldn’t kick me out. I remember sister Rose asking me if I wanted to help in a sharp, “either help or get out manner” no tolerance for foolishness in the kitchen. I simply replied that I would love to help if they would let me and asked if I was in the way. They assured me I wasn’t and sister Georgia showed me how to start chopping the veggies for the salad. She showed me how to cut towards me with this huge knife and keep my slices of cabbage really really thin.
As we were chopping sister Novelett asked me what it was like to be a missionary. I’m sad to report I didn’t really have a good answer. Up until that moment I hadn’t really been feeling like a missionary. I know I was on the field away from my family and friends but to be honest I have just been living life. God has been showing up and doing things and it has been amazing to meet new people and experience new cultures but I hadn’t really felt like a missionary.
Living obediently to Jesus led me over seas but if being a missionary is living your life surrendered to Jesus then we are all in a way missionaries. Our mission fields might look way different but it is the same goal. To spread love and the truth about Jesus wherever we are. Bringing him glory has been the cry of my heart since I was 11.
The few weeks since she has asked me that question my answer has changed a little. Living with my team in a foreign city with my new friend’s in a new culture and spending time in their kitchen learning about their lives, I do see a difference between living on mission and being a missionary. I’ve seen it in the side of sacrifice that I didn’t experience in the states. The inconvenience of turning the knob for water and having it not come and filling a bucket from a spikket to take a shower, every time I want to take a shower. I notice it when I finally connect to wifi for a few hours and can chat with my family and friends because I paid money to use the internet. Or when the sisters I’m cooking with remind me of my mom and aunts, or the pastor’s silly sense of humor makes me miss my dad. Jamaica has loved me so well it’s made me miss home so much more.
Being a missionary has more of a cost then simply living on mission. Not that I think it’s any less hard in the states to sacrifice where you live and your job and time to Jesus but being away from the familiar takes a toll. I’m not just working an hr away from my family anymore. I missed Easter and I am about to miss spending birthdays with my family as I have one then Joey is turns 10. I have 8 more countries to go and am starting to get excited for the next one but it also means 8 more countries until I’m home. When One of my sweet friends who is 4 goes Vickie I think you should come over tomorrow, or the kids i worked with learn a new skill and I am missing it. The teenagers are driving and babies are being born and people are getting ready for the 2 weddings in May I am going to miss. It makes it a bit harder to be so very far away.
Don’t ask me why God made it 11 months, I still don’t know but I do know I’m where I’m supposed to be. In the sacrifice there is so much good. I have gained friends in Haiti, DR and Jamaica so far. Learned I love all the food, cooked, laughed and cried with people that don’t speak the same language as me. Learned how to speak with a little bit of a Jamaican accent mon, and felt the presence and love of God in so many ways. God is showing up. I love what I’m doing, I love the people and the places it is crazy mon. God meets me right where I am and he never dissappoints. Much love from Jamaica and as the people on the street say, Bless Up!
Ps-I gave my first “sermon” today and it went well. It was about grace.
Prayer Request-
Fundraising is still on going and safe travels to India we will be passing thru Chicago for less then 24 hrs on the 15th and then 8 more months outside of the states 🙂 God is so good, it is crazy!
