I still remember the first group of christians I let into my messy life. The youth group that changed how I viewed fellowship. I was 18 and my world was collapsing in on itself. I finally cracked and let them in a few weeks before our mission trip and boy did God surprise me. Instead of condemnation I found love and encouragement. I found joy in being honest. It was finally okay to not be okay.
Well we took off for Brooklyn a few weeks after I graduated HS and God showed me a glimpse of how personal he really was. I realized he hand tailored each person’s encounter with him on our trip and it just about blew my mind.
Over the years different groups of christians have woven their stories and hearts into my life. So when I boarded the plane for Atlanta I was expecting nothing less. That doesn’t mean I wasn’t nervous. I’m not a perfect person and I do have patience and grace in fairly large amounts but I also knew that these people were the ones that both God had chosen to put me with and that I was choosing to invest in for this coming year. I was going to be “stuck” with them for better or worse 🙂
Right before I got to the meeting point at the airport I remember praying that God would show up and help me love them. I knew my life was about to change. The first person I spent any time with was precious Megan. We went to IHOP in the airport and had lunch and talked about life. After we went back and I met a few more as we loaded into the 15 passenger vans. I sat next to Johan who couldn’t sit still and we bonded over the fact that I worked with middle schoolers and he had the energy level of one. Surrounded by sweet faces I started to feel less nervous as names from the group chat got attached to real people.
Boy am I blessed. Halfway through the week I had to change my mind set. These are not the people I’m stuck with and they arent stuck with me. These are the people I am choosing. I’m blessed that I get to be a part of their lives. I have wanted to do this trip for so long and God is finally opening doors and I have to believe that part of it is because I was ment to go on this journey with these Jesus freaks. We are loud and we love hard. There isn’t going to be any hiding in Freedom Squad. They are going to call out my ugly in love and point me to Jesus fiercely. We are committed and there is no turning back. A song at camp said “I don’t mind looking like a fool, letting go of what I can’t keep to take a hold of you.” To the world it might not make any sense. I’m 27, single, no “career”, home or real direction but I know that I am in God’s will.
When we were on our way back to the airport a squad mate asked, “Did you know it would be like that?” I smiled and said ,”yep.” I have been so blessed by all the people God has put in my life over the years. I knew that this group would be something special and it is a blessing to have them to run alongside of on this journey. I still am a little overwhelmed by everything but God’s got it and Freedom squad is just one more way he is loving on me.
