Dad, do you remember that evening when we sat on our porch in Michigan?
Yeah, that one.
When you told me the greatest news I had, and ever will, hear. I didn’t know it at the age of four, but in that moment you shared the greatest gift that you could possibly give a child, you shared with me about the person of Jesus. In my innocence, I don’t know if I truly knew what I was being saved from, but I did know that I didn’t want to miss out–on a Savior who took my place, on a cross that was mine to bear in order to grant me a spot in the Book of Life.
You told me the Truth. Thank you.
Dad, do you remember that time my principle called you in sixth grade to tell you I started a food fight?
I was so nervous that you’d discipline me, that you’d be terribly angry. But when she handed the phone to me, I grabbed it with shaking hands and a quivering lip, to hear your reassuring laugh on the other end, “you knucklehead, I wouldn’t expect anything less from you. We can talk when you get home.” I felt myself take a breath, relieved for the grace extended. I didn’t deserve it, and I realize now how that demonstrated the grace of our Heavenly Father. Even during my mess ups (that I think are a great idea at the time), you viewed me through a lense of love, excusing my immaturity.
You showed me Grace. Thank you.
And do you remember my graduation day from high school?
Stubborn old man, you told me you would share the Gospel at my graduation party and I said “no”? I knew that my life was in malalignment with the message you had been teaching me my whole life. I felt guilty and convicted, and you were simply being obedient to a Father that was asking you to share. I’m sorry I was an obstacle in the way. I know it lead to the biggest fight we’ve ever been in, but that day my life changed. You questioned if I had eternal security, and to be honest? I had no idea. That day was a complete surrender of my life, no matter the circumstance, I wanted my life to rest in the hands of our God. My life changed from that point on.
You showed me Love, even through the pain. Thank you.
What about when I told you I wanted to go on the Race?
I never thought I wanted to be in ministry, or end up somewhere in Asia.. funny how the Lord works. Dad, you were brought to tears at my obedience to the Lord, yet I hardly felt qualified. My only qualification was having an unbelievable mentor and teacher over the years to show me what true ministry looked like. Pops, you have been my example of what it means to follow Jesus. You’ve been my unconditional love, my voice of truth, and never-ending grace. I know you’re an imperfect man, but to see your walk with the Lord continue to deepen in affection year after year has been my biggest encouragement in this life.
So Dad, it’s been 190 days.
I’m in Kyrgyzstan on the other side of the world, attempting to emulate a life of truth, grace, and love, the way you’ve taught me. I miss you, Dad. I miss our morning walks, long drives, and gym workouts. But I know I’m out here for the same experience that you shared with me when I was four. Because my life changed in that moment, and if I can give that gift to someone else the way you told me, then it’s all worth it. Thank you– for making me the woman I am today. And for constantly reminding me what an adventure it is to follow Jesus into the unknown.
See you soon, old man.
