My thoughts while sitting in orientation and prayer before our first night of bar ministry were less than compassionate. I imagined going in and trying to encourage and befriend girls who appeared, to me, as weak. They were weak in their minds, hearts, and especially their relationships. They don’t dare dream, and they don’t even think they’re worth it, so they settle. I thought they had every right to choose in and out of their job. Weak.
To be honest, my heart is for the men in these circumstances. After all, they are ttypicallypart of the foundation of human trafficking, or, at least, they reinforce the system. I see nothing but brokenness from pasts of abuse, neglect, and unmet expectations that only feed into their need to overcompensate with power, lust, and revenge. I love hanging out with them, knowing their stories, and hearing why they do what they do.
So, I asked. I wanted to be respectful to our hosts, their vision, and their heart for the ministry, but also wanted to pursue a people group I’m passionate about. It was a direct “no.”
Seeking out men at the bars ruins relationships that we establish with the girls, because, from their perspective, we foreigners are taking their business. Talk about dying to yourself, ya’ll. Refraining from pursuing friendships with men so the girls in the business don’t get hurt by it. I swallowed my pride real quick and thanked the Lord for that sweet slice of humble pie.
I failed to grasp the reality of relationship over religion here. Religion says that I can’t do this, but I probably should do that. At first, it would seem that this experience fits into the religion category, because I had to stay away from creating relationships with whoever I wanted. However, religion is also often condemning, selfish, and logical.
In knowing that mostly men (not always, but mostly) encourage the business of stripping, dancing, and prostitution, my thoughts condemned them for their behavior. It was selfish of me to go into an environment that I hadn’t experienced before with an agenda of what I wanted to accomplish, based on my own past experiences and passions. It was relational to inquire our hosts first and think of their ministry and relationships with the girls, owners, and handlers of places they go into. Logically, since (especially in Nepal) men buy into this business, it would make sense to go into this ministry desiring to change their hearts and positively influence the root of the problem. It takes more faith, grace, and relational pursuit for me to unconditionally love the girls. I also failed to trust the power of the Holy Spirit to still be able to impact the men through our relationships and pursuit of the girls.
Once we got to the bars and I hung out with one of the girls, my heart change was immediate. I’m pretty sure satan snuck in some of those preconceived weak thoughts about the girls beforehand, because I saw longing, fun, and genuinity in their eyes, and even noticed glimpses of my past self in their faces. Upon listening to their stories, I ate yet another slice of humble pie in hearing how desperate they and their families are in need of the money and how easy it is to get a job.
I relished in the purpose of God having us here, especially because in and out of each month I continue to realize that mission and loving people isn’t about me. Even if I seek out a certain group of people or a specific area in good heart posture, the Lord has His own works to do and miracles to accomplish.
