I just spent a full week in Knoxville and wow, did it feel good to be back after three long months away! Being able to see some of the women I had built relationships with over the summer brought me so much joy! As promised in the last blog, I’d like to tell you more about why I am making this move and why I feel so passionately about the work I am stepping into.
As mentioned previously, when I committed to going on the World Race in 2017, I knew my life would never look the same. While in Haiti, during my first month on the field, I asked for God to break my heart for what He wanted me to pursue long term. For three years, I kept that prayer tucked away. At the end of this summer while praying about what was next, He reminded me of that prayer and brought to mind three experiences that had shattered my heart. These are the three experiences that have changed the trajectory of my future moving forward.
ONE: June 2018. My World Race squad was in Penang, Malaysia. I had the opportunity to go out on “night ministry” which consisted of meeting up with some of the working women and ladyboys outside a local brothel. The local ministry we were partnered with had been pouring into these women for months and I felt honored to join. I struck up a conversation with a young woman and she very quickly began telling me her story. She told me her mother was very sick with diabetes and had suffered many complications that put their family into deep medical debt. Because of this, she had to drop out of school in the first grade to help provide for her family; while her older brother was allowed to continue his education in hopes of him getting a high paying job one day. She explained about her work in prostitution. She told me how she longed to go back to school and dreamed of bigger things. She spoke 6 languages fluently; all of which she had picked up from international clients. She was beautiful and absolutely brilliant. After a while, she began asking me questions about myself. Had I gotten to go to school or did I have to work to provide for my family? How was I traveling around the world at such a young age? How did I have money to pay for that? My stomach sank and I felt my face flush as I fumbled for words to answer her questions. That night I walked silently back to my hostel trying to figure out why I felt sick to my stomach answering her questions. I was hit HARD with a deeper understanding of western privilege and to be honest, in that moment, it had felt immensely shameful. I cried myself to sleep that night and spent the next few days wrestling with God. Frankly, I was angry with Him and felt utterly helpless. I asked him over and over again, “Why her and not me?” Over the next few days I felt the Lord telling me to leave the ‘whys’ up to him and that this burden He’d placed on my heart would turn to blessing.
TWO: October 2018. My squad was now in a village on the outskirts of Kigali, Rwanda. We were living with Pastor Moise Bukenya and working at the school he started for the children in his neighborhood that couldn’t afford to attend the government school. One day I was walking around the classroom and noticed one of my favorite little babes crying to herself. I knelt down beside her and asked what was wrong. She was out of notebook paper. No biggie I thought. I asked my lead teacher where I could get some more. She explained that the school didn’t have the funds to provide supplies and that until the little girl’s family could afford a new notebook, she couldn’t come back to class. When school let out for the day I went to find out how much a new notebook cost – $0.40. I was in utter disbelief. I got home and sank onto the Pastors front porch with that familiar pit in my stomach and cried uncontrollably. I couldn’t get the image out of my mind of that little tear stained face looking up at me with such sadness. I didn’t see her for almost a week after that day. It was $0.40 that prevented her from continuing her education. Just $0.40.
THREE: June 2020. I was living in Knoxville for the summer working with Raising a Voice. We were doing outreach one night to build relationships and trust with women in the community. I struck up a conversation with two women and one began telling me her story. She began with, “I never thought I’d be out here. I always judged these women. I used to lock my doors coming down this street.” She had been the salutatorian of her high school, a registered nurse, had a steady job, her own apartment, a car, everything she needed. Her parents died suddenly, her boyfriend was thrown in jail for a petty crime and she lost all her support in a short period of time. Her life spun out of control and so did she. Her daughter was taken away, which made matters worse, and she ended up on the streets. Once again, that familiar pit hit my stomach and my heart ached for the pain I could hear masked behind her uncomfortable laughs. I knew that pain well. I understood sudden loss and what it looked like to watch your life spiral before you. I went home that night, called James and just cried. “That could have been me,” I whispered. Had I not had friends and family around me during that time of loss and the means to go to counseling, my situation could have been so much worse.
When God brought these three moments back to my memory and showed me the common thread that wove through them, I saw exactly what He had been doing and why. He was breaking my heart for His children who so desperately wanted and deserved an education. Education is so foundational in a child’s life and until those moments, I hadn’t realized what a privilege it truly was and how much I had always taken it for granted. He wrecked me for women stuck in vulnerable and exploitative situations who were often there only due to circumstances; circumstances that many of us have also faced. God was giving my heart a deep burden for the doors He was opening before me.
Moving forward with our partnership with Pastor Moise to bring an affordable, christ-centered education to children in Rwanda is a door God blew wide open and we couldn’t ignore. He has given Pastor Moise, Saylah and I huge dreams for Heritage Christian and we can’t wait to see where He takes it. Coming alongside the women in East Knoxville, to love them exactly where they’re at while providing tangible resources to move forward, is exactly where I know I am supposed to be. Those women have captured my heart in a way I never could have imagined and I can’t wait to walk alongside them. God is giving me the opportunity to work in both of these areas full time with Raising a Voice and I literally just cry every time I think about how grateful I am. We have a God who gives us the deep desires of our hearts so that we can fully come alive and glorify Him through what He puts before us. Not only that, He has opened up the door for my fiancé, James, to work with Raising a Voice as well on the business side. He will be helping the founders start new enterprises that will generate jobs for the women of East Knoxville and income for the ministry. He is just so freaking good!
As we step into this next chapter of becoming full time urban missionaries, we are looking for people to walk alongside and partner with us by joining our monthly support team. In partnering with us, you are helping us to continue tangibly transforming lives both in Knoxville, Tennessee and Kigali, Rwanda. If you would like to hear more about our work, I would LOVE to talk to you. Please feel free to reach out! If you are interested in partnering with us, you can do so here by clicking ‘Sara Owen & James Wilhelm’ in the drop down. I am beyond grateful for your continued love, support and prayers. Without you, this wouldn’t be possible.
All my love from Texas,
Sara
